SkerFalcon8710

Mods part 3: The Empire Strikes Back

147 posts in this topic

39 minutes ago, papachaz said:

some of us do our dead level best to show them what humor there is in their posts.....but for the most part I do believe it's like a cam newton pass to his wide receivers, over their heads  :ninja:

i love you charles. but sometimes you sound like my old grandpa (RIP) ...and sometimes i sound like the annoying little grand-kid that wants toys instead of clothes for christmas.

We all want the same thing - a Winning Falcon team. We ALL Want Magical Toys for Christmas (the Superbowl Ring) ... maybe one day , hopefully before we're all dead, we will get to see that

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55 minutes ago, The Falcon Jedi Knight said:

i love you charles. but sometimes you sound like my old grandpa (RIP) ...and sometimes i sound like the annoying little grand-kid that wants toys instead of clothes for christmas.

We all want the same thing - a Winning Falcon team. We ALL Want Magical Toys for Christmas (the Superbowl Ring) ... maybe one day , hopefully before we're all dead, we will get to see that

And if not, let he who is last in TATF say 5 Hive Sop Daps, 4 Rise Ups and a Hail Mary before shutting off the server.  :ninja:

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13 hours ago, RING OF HONOR said:

We got truths...false...funny...not funny...misunderstoods..fights...bickering....complaining....apologies...apologies taken back...naked women....crude jokes...

If you aint having fun....might be time to check that pulse.

And the threads not locked.  

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13 hours ago, The Falcon Jedi Knight said:

Any one person that is never annoying in any way is not a person - its a robot. Its what makes us human, our idiosyncracies

If you don’t annoy others on occasion it’s likely you are annoying yourself constantly, cause you’re living to please others and ignoring yourself in the process

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18 hours ago, ya_boi_j said:

Dude that was for ***** and giggles. **** this very thread is for ***** and giggles. If you don’t have a good sense of humor then no it’s won’t  appeal to you at all. If you do you appreciate it for what it is

For those needing a few more giggles:

 

CHILI JUDGING CONTEST: A Texas Chili Contest - 

The notes are from an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank,

who was visiting from Canada. 

 

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a

chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment

and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for

directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was

assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili

wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free

beer during the tasting, so I accepted". Here are the scorecards from

the event:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chili # 1 Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.

Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor.. Very mild.

Judge # 3 -- (Frank) Holy ****, what the **** is this stuff? You

could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put

the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy. 


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chili # 2 Arthur's Afterburner Chili

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.

Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.

Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm

supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people

who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more

beer when they saw the look on my face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chili # 3 Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans.

Judge # 2 -- A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.

Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose

feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by

now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back,

now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting ****-faced

from all of the beer. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chili # 4 Bubba's Black Magic

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.

Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.

Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was

unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out tastebuds? Sally,

the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-lb.

***** is starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm

eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chili # 5 Linda's Legal Lip Remover

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.

Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.

Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and

four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when

I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my

tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if

I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges

asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chili # 6 Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.

Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.

Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I **** myself when I farted and I'm

worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally. She must be kinkier than I thought.

Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my *** with a snow cone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chili # 7 Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.

Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am

worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.

Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world

sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava

like **** to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful.

Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chili # 8 Tommy's Toe-Nail Curling Chili

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.

Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balance chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3

farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor fella, wonder how he'd

have reacted to really hot chili.

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9 hours ago, The Falcon Jedi Knight said:

i love you charles. but sometimes you sound like my old grandpa (RIP) ...and sometimes i sound like the annoying little grand-kid that wants toys instead of clothes for christmas.

We all want the same thing - a Winning Falcon team. We ALL Want Magical Toys for Christmas (the Superbowl Ring) ... maybe one day , hopefully before we're all dead, we will get to see that

I probably AM old enough to be your grandpa, or close enough anyway to tell you to GET OFF MY LAWN!!! ;)

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19 minutes ago, ya_boi_j said:

too long; didn't read

so people are actually so lazy that they cant type "too long, didnt read" fully, but it takes the same amount of time to type "tl;dr" with the semi-colon character in the middle. What the heck generation of kids are we growing now?

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2 hours ago, The Falcon Jedi Knight said:

so people are actually so lazy that they cant type "too long, didnt read" fully, but it takes the same amount of time to type "tl;dr" with the semi-colon character in the middle. What the heck generation of kids are we growing now?

I am not a kid by any means.

The joke is that "too long, didn't read" would be tl:dr

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Just now, TheUsualStuff said:

I am not a kid by any means.

The joke is that "too long, didn't read" would be tl:dr

well just effing say "too long to read"? why do you have to make it cryptic?

 

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1 minute ago, The Falcon Jedi Knight said:

well just effing say "too long to read"? why do you have to make it cryptic?

 

I think the last post about why you use tl;dr instead of typing out too long, didn't read went over your head.

 

It's been an internet meme forever... usually when using a well known internet meme, you use it as is.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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4 hours ago, TheUsualStuff said:

I think the last post about why you use tl;dr instead of typing out too long, didn't read went over your head.

 

It's been an internet meme forever... usually when using a well known internet meme, you use it as is.

 

 

 

 

 

 

:munch::munch:

 

this gone be guudddddd   

 

 

:lol:

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