Brehus Posted September 15, 2018 Share Posted September 15, 2018 (edited) Sorry Six: Saints, Cowboys, Falcons lead the ugly parade Jay Busbee,Yahoo Sports Fri, Sep 14 9:54 AM CDT Scroll back up to restore default view. In the opening days of the NFL season, teams have impressed us. Delighted us. Inspired us. These … are not those teams. Welcome back, everyone, to the Sorry Six. The rules here are simple: these are the six teams, players, units, coaches or fan bases that turned in the sorriest performances of the week. They’re not necessarily the worst in the league, but they ought to be ashamed of themselves. And we start in the Big Easy… 6. The New Orleans Saints defense No, we’re not taking down the Saints as a whole; Drew Brees and Alvin Kamara and the rest of the offense put up 40 points, which is like a chef cooking a magnificent five-course meal and requiring only the waiter to get it to the table. Well, the waiter in this case is the New Orleans D, and the waiter not only dropped the meal, he caught the entire restaurant on fire. The only winners in this scenario are anyone who’s got Brees or Kamara on their fantasy team; the Saints offense is going to have to absolutely ball out to outrun its own D. Next up for New Orleans, though, is a heapin’ helpin’ of Cleveland Browns, good for what ails ya. 5. Atlanta Falcons Guided by the hand of offensive coordinator Steve Sarkisian, who runs an offense like your dad trying to figure out Madden, the Falcons have somehow managed to turn one of the league’s highest-powered offenses into a stuttering, sputtering mess. Oh, but in good news: the defense has already lost two Pro Bowlers in Keanu Neal and Deion Jones! And running back Devonta Freeman is going to be limited this weekend! You know the old saying: can’t blow a 28-3 lead in the Super Bowl if you don’t get to the playoffs. Atlanta’s got what’s already a must-win game against a motivated Carolina this weekend. Good luck! 4. Dallas Cowboys Everything’s bigger in Texas, even the delusion. Hey, remember that amazing 11-0 Dallas run back in 2016, when Dak Prescott and Ezekiel Elliott looked like they were going to be the future of the NFL? Yeah? Guess what: since then, Dallas has been the literal definition of mediocre, going 11-10 over that span. They’ll get the chance to stay on the high side of .500 this weekend against the Giants on Sunday night. What? An NFC East matchup in prime time? That never happens! 3. Oakland Raiders It’s way too early to make snap judgments, but we’ll make one anyway. Oakland should’ve made Khalil Mack a player-coach! There, I said it. Look, in theory Oakland can flip the Mack picks into multiple Pro Bowl-level players over the next few years and make Jon Gruden look like the $100 million genius his agent says he is. That’s a solid gamble, right? And before long, Oakland’s headed to Vegas, where longshot gambles always pay off big, don’t they? Anyway, Gruden gets a chance to turn around the already-tailspinning Oakland narrative this weekend against AFC West rival Denver. 2. Detroit Lions Rebuilding since 1957! Matt Patricia got his first-ever head coaching start against the New York Jets this past Monday night, and you know what the former Patriots defensive coordinator was thinking as the Jets ran up the score: “Well, this sucks, but at least I’ve got Tom Brady to bail me out.” Yeah, about that … 1. Buffalo Bills Up Buffalo way, they can break through tables, but they can’t break through goal lines. Bye week came early for the Bills, who managed a league-low three points in Week 1. Three! Quarterback Nathan Peterman, who threw for just 24 yards and two interceptions, set the bar so low that his replacement, Josh Allen, can just step over it. As long as Allen doesn’t collapse on the ground and curl up in a fetal position in the backfield, he’ll get the love and adoration of Bills fans. Not a tall order. Edited September 15, 2018 by Brehus Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vel Posted September 15, 2018 Share Posted September 15, 2018 I wish sports journalism wasn't so cheesy these days. It's like they want to write about sports and crack jokes at the same time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2_legit_2_legit_2_quit Posted September 15, 2018 Share Posted September 15, 2018 (edited) 13 minutes ago, vel said: I wish sports journalism wasn't so cheesy these days. It's like they want to write about sports and crack jokes at the same time. But is he wrong? Edited September 15, 2018 by 2_legit_2_legit_2_quit Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostnmexico Posted September 15, 2018 Share Posted September 15, 2018 15 minutes ago, vel said: I wish sports journalism wasn't so cheesy these days. It's like they want to write about sports and crack jokes at the same time. does it matter….that is completely funny! And spot on too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vel Posted September 15, 2018 Share Posted September 15, 2018 2 minutes ago, 2_legit_2_legit_2_quit said: But is he wrong? It's cheesy. And annoying. And fishing for tweets vs actual journalism. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ki46dinah Posted September 15, 2018 Share Posted September 15, 2018 2 minutes ago, 2_legit_2_legit_2_quit said: But is he wrong? Motivated Carolina? When are division games not motivated? Carolina lost their best offensive player, a bunch of linemen, and was not exactly clicking on all cylinders at home. Its not great losing Deion though....Neal we can weather, I more doubt the loss of a bests defensive player. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2_legit_2_legit_2_quit Posted September 15, 2018 Share Posted September 15, 2018 1 minute ago, ki46dinah said: Motivated Carolina? When are division games not motivated? Carolina lost their best offensive player, a bunch of linemen, and was not exactly clicking on all cylinders at home. Its not great losing Deion though....Neal we can weather, I more doubt the loss of a bests defensive player. Dude they are going to use Florence as a "we are playing for the people of the Carolinas" moment. That is all you are going to hear about pregame. It'll be like Katrina bowl. I think that's what he means by "motivated". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MoFalconsFan56 Posted September 15, 2018 Share Posted September 15, 2018 (edited) Yahoo still around? Edited September 15, 2018 by MoFalconsFan56 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sponge Posted September 15, 2018 Share Posted September 15, 2018 Quote Guided by the hand of offensive coordinator Steve Sarkisian, who runs an offense like your dad trying to figure out Madden Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caponine Posted September 15, 2018 Share Posted September 15, 2018 3 minutes ago, SpongeDad said: LMFAOO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faithful Falcon Posted September 15, 2018 Share Posted September 15, 2018 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FalconAge Posted September 15, 2018 Share Posted September 15, 2018 34 minutes ago, SpongeDad said: I laughed but then I realized most of the dads I know love Madden haha. COD too.... I'm getting old Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FalconFanSince1970 Posted September 15, 2018 Share Posted September 15, 2018 2 hours ago, vel said: I wish sports journalism wasn't so cheesy these days. It's like they want to write about sports and crack jokes at the same time. I actually enjoyed the read. But I like 3rd grade bust nics too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rounz Posted September 15, 2018 Share Posted September 15, 2018 In this case, I thought the Sark reference was a cheap shot; give the man a couple of games. And I am speaking as someone who's waiting for Sark to show why he was hired in the first place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The O.D.B Posted September 15, 2018 Share Posted September 15, 2018 2 hours ago, vel said: I wish sports journalism wasn't so cheesy these days. It's like they want to write about sports and crack jokes at the same time. I actually prefer the joke-cracking by far over the guys who try to act knowledgeable but don't do their research. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mtldirtybird Posted September 15, 2018 Share Posted September 15, 2018 5 hours ago, vel said: I wish sports journalism wasn't so cheesy these days. It's like they want to write about sports and crack jokes at the same time. Yes. It's called having character in your writing...Any robot can type up a template filling it in with stats Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mtldirtybird Posted September 15, 2018 Share Posted September 15, 2018 5 hours ago, vel said: It's cheesy. And annoying. And fishing for tweets vs actual journalism. fishing for tweets isn't a thing. and Fishing for hits is literally the job of a journalist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sponge Posted September 16, 2018 Share Posted September 16, 2018 5 hours ago, FalconAge said: I laughed but then I realized most of the dads I know love Madden haha. COD too.... I'm getting old NFL Blitz all day bro. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
papachaz Posted September 16, 2018 Share Posted September 16, 2018 8 hours ago, vel said: I wish sports journalism wasn't so cheesy these days. It's like they want to write about sports and crack jokes at the same time. and for the most part, they're not very good at either..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ATLFalcons11 Posted September 16, 2018 Share Posted September 16, 2018 8 hours ago, vel said: It's cheesy. And annoying. And fishing for tweets vs actual journalism. It is annoying BUT I do understand that the only reason I feel that way because it’s facts about my team. If it was the Saints, then it wouldn’t have the same annoyance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Falconer89 Posted September 16, 2018 Share Posted September 16, 2018 Tomorrow isn't a must win. There's still 14 games remaining. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ATLSlobberKnockers Posted September 16, 2018 Share Posted September 16, 2018 9 hours ago, vel said: I wish sports journalism wasn't so cheesy these days. It's like they want to write about sports and crack jokes at the same time. which is entertaining if the jokes are funny, or cringeworthy if not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ATLSlobberKnockers Posted September 16, 2018 Share Posted September 16, 2018 22 minutes ago, Falconer89 said: Tomorrow isn't a must win. There's still 14 games remaining. If tomorrow is a must win then so was week one and so will every game moving forward. Either way, what a stupid and/or redundant statement to make, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ATLSlobberKnockers Posted September 16, 2018 Share Posted September 16, 2018 1 hour ago, SpongeDad said: NFL Blitz all day bro. Jesus. You're right it is like NFL blitz play calling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
etherdome Posted September 16, 2018 Share Posted September 16, 2018 14 hours ago, vel said: I wish sports journalism wasn't so cheesy these days. It's like they want to write about sports and crack jokes at the same time. Yeah, I agree. This is not journalism, it is kids' humor. That is what sells and gets eye balls, so all you can say is that Busbee is nothing more than another sell-out kid trying to make a living. The crack about Sarkisian ignores the facts about the game. There were open receivers in position to score. The plays were there, Matt simply did not make them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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