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Dago 3.0

The World Wide Web's inventor warns it's in peril

22 posts in this topic

Just now, Dago 3.0 said:

you and a lot of other libruls :D

I've never given a single s*** for what Al Gore has to say.  Never been a fan.  The PMRC hearings made me realize what a slimy little political POS he is.

You should also hear my thoughts about Chuck Schumer.  

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Just now, Leon Troutsky said:

I've never given a single s*** for what Al Gore has to say.  Never been a fan.  The PMRC hearings made me realize what a slimy little political POS he is.

You should also hear my thoughts about Chuck Schumer.  

nah...you are a librul so you support all libruls

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1 minute ago, Leon Troutsky said:

I've never given a single s*** for what Al Gore has to say.  Never been a fan.  The PMRC hearings made me realize what a slimy little political POS he is.

You should also hear my thoughts about Chuck Schumer.  

Schumer is the worst.  He and Gingrich ought to be forced to wear one of those "get along shirts" for what they did to Chris Jefferies.

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Just now, JDaveG said:

Schumer is the worst.  He and Gingrich ought to be forced to wear one of those "get along shirts" for what they did to Chris Jefferies.

Yep, one of the major reasons I can't stand him.

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Just now, Dago 3.0 said:

cmon....no comment on the Dune reference?

Dune references>>>>>>>>>

I've been meaning to read that book for years.  Never seen the movie. 

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2 minutes ago, mdrake34 said:

My all-time favorite The Onion article was about Al Gore finally listening to hard rock after his divorce from Tipper.

1200.jpg

:lol:

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Just now, JDaveG said:

:lol:

The sweat pants and Bud heavy get me every time.  Here's the full article.

Recently Single Al Gore Finally Able To Listen To W.A.S.P. Albums

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The former vice president searches for his favorite track on the 1986 album 'Inside The Electric Circus.'

NASHVILLE, TN—Finally unhindered by his wife Tipper's 25-year-long household ban on violent and sexually explicit music, former vice president Al Gore, 62, reportedly embraced his newfound independence this week by listening to the albums of the heavy metal band W.A.S.P.

"For the first time in decades, I get to play the kind of music I like without someone nagging me about what a bad influence it is," said Gore, sitting on the floor of his living room as he cued up the song "Animal (**** Like A Beast)" on his stereo. "And I get to crank it up as loud as I want."

"These guys are kicking some serious ***," added the two-term U.S. Senator. "Check out this guitar break coming up—it's nasty."

Gore, who was prohibited from hearing music with graphic sex, violence, or drug references since Tipper founded the Parents Music Resource Center in 1985, confirmed yesterday that her crusade was "total bullcrap." In addition, Gore said that listening to the forbidden W.A.S.P. albums over and over again had not turned him into a satanic dope fiend as his wife and her associates had warned.

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Gore enlists a couple of old friends to help him "ride the demon."

"It sucked because we always had to listen to garbage like Carly Simon and Lyle Lovett all the time," said Gore, who told reporters that he was "loving" being single again. "That stuff is lame, man. If it doesn't have big balls and bigger riffs, get it out of my stereo!"

According to Gore, being deprived of artists like W.A.S.P., Mötley Crüe, and Ice Cube for so many years only made him more curious. The former presidential candidate claimed that finally hearing them all for the first time was "like having [his] brains shot into outer space."

"I can't believe I wasted half my life helping Tipper put warning labels on this stuff when I could have been seeing these guys do their thing live," Gore said of W.A.S.P. "They used to whip raw meat at the audience. How bad-*** is that?"

"Cause I'm burning, burning, burning up with fi-ire!" added Gore, screaming the lyrics to "Wild Child."

According to Gore's personal assistant Eric Linscott, the Nobel Peace Prize winner has been spending most of each workday gorging himself on the songs "On Your Knees," "The Torture Never Stops," and "Show No Mercy."

"I spent six hours at Best Buy yesterday trying to find these Quiet Riot and N.W.A. albums he was asking for," said Linscott, who claimed he also purchased a mirror etched with the AC/DC logo for Gore's home office. "Whenever I try to talk to him about upcoming meetings or something, he just makes this, like, devil symbol with his hands or starts air-drumming. I'm really hoping this is just a phase."

Sources confirmed that Gore has also been catching up on movies that Tipper would not allow the 62-year-old to view because they contained violence, adult language, or nudity. He recently finished watching Purple Rain nearly 26 years after his wife forced him to turn it off because the song "Darling Nikki" contains references to masturbation.

Gore also announced plans to stay up all night watching Porky's, Fast Times At Ridgemont High, Red Dawn, and The Terminator.

"Why would I need Tipper when I've got all this?" said Gore, gesturing toward stacks of compact discs, vinyl albums, VHS cassettes, DVDs, and Nintendo games. "I'll tell you one thing: If she thinks I miss her, then she's out of her mind, because I don't. I'm living the dream here, my friend. I'm not lonely at all."

Added Gore, "Not lonely at all."

In related news, family sources reported that Tipper Gore has been enjoying her newfound freedom by taking 20-minute showers and leaving the lights on all day.

http://www.theonion.com/article/recently-single-al-gore-finally-able-to-listen-to--17824

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This is the best thing that ever came out of the PMRC controversy:

" Senator GORE. It is just an interesting choice. I was getting the impression from your presentation that you were a very wholesome kind of performer, and that is an interesting title for your fan club. 

 You say your song "Under the Blade" is about surgery. Have you ever had surgery with your hands tied and your legs strapped? 

 Mr. SNIDER. The song was written about my guitar player, Eddie Ojeda. He was having polyps removed from his throat and he was very fearful of this operation. And I said: Eddie, while you are in the hospital I am going to write a song for you. 

 I said it was about the fear of operations. I think people imagine being helpless on a table, the bright light in their face, the blade coming down on them, and being totally afraid that they may wake up, who knows, dead, handicapped. There is a certain fear of hospitals. That is what, in my imagination, what I see the hospitals like. 

 Senator GORE. Is there a reference to the hospital in the song? 

 Mr. SNIDER. No, there is not. But there is not a reference to a woman, sado-masochism, or -- well, bondage, yes.

Senator GORE. There is just a reference to someone whose hands are tied down and whose legs are strapped down, and he is going under the blade to be cut. 

 Mr. SNIDER. Yes, there is. 

 Senator GORE. So it is not really a wild leap of the imagination to jump to the conclusion that the song is about something other than surgery or hospitals, neither of which are mentioned in the song? 

 Mr. SNIDER. No, it is not a wild jump. And I think what I said at one part was that songs allow a person to put their own imagination, experiences, and dreams into the lyrics. People can interpret it in many ways. 

 Mrs. Gore was looking for sado-masochism and bondage and she found it. Someone looking for surgical references would have found that as well."

:lol:

 

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1 minute ago, JDaveG said:

This is the best thing that ever came out of the PMRC controversy:

" Senator GORE. It is just an interesting choice. I was getting the impression from your presentation that you were a very wholesome kind of performer, and that is an interesting title for your fan club. 

 You say your song "Under the Blade" is about surgery. Have you ever had surgery with your hands tied and your legs strapped? 

 Mr. SNIDER. The song was written about my guitar player, Eddie Ojeda. He was having polyps removed from his throat and he was very fearful of this operation. And I said: Eddie, while you are in the hospital I am going to write a song for you. 

 I said it was about the fear of operations. I think people imagine being helpless on a table, the bright light in their face, the blade coming down on them, and being totally afraid that they may wake up, who knows, dead, handicapped. There is a certain fear of hospitals. That is what, in my imagination, what I see the hospitals like. 

 Senator GORE. Is there a reference to the hospital in the song? 

 Mr. SNIDER. No, there is not. But there is not a reference to a woman, sado-masochism, or -- well, bondage, yes.

Senator GORE. There is just a reference to someone whose hands are tied down and whose legs are strapped down, and he is going under the blade to be cut. 

 Mr. SNIDER. Yes, there is. 

 Senator GORE. So it is not really a wild leap of the imagination to jump to the conclusion that the song is about something other than surgery or hospitals, neither of which are mentioned in the song? 

 Mr. SNIDER. No, it is not a wild jump. And I think what I said at one part was that songs allow a person to put their own imagination, experiences, and dreams into the lyrics. People can interpret it in many ways. 

 Mrs. Gore was looking for sado-masochism and bondage and she found it. Someone looking for surgical references would have found that as well."

:lol:

 

That was my favorite.  A close second is Al Gore kissing John Denver's *** ("I like your music.") and Denver reminding him that his songs had been banned from radio because it referenced drug use.  

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18 minutes ago, mdrake34 said:

I've been meaning to read that book for years.  Never seen the movie. 

the movie shouldn't be enjoyable but it is for some reason. the book is awesome

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Also, Senator Hollings is a caricature of Foghorn Leghorn.  I'm convinced of it.

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I really like Al Gore. There, I said it.

That admitted, the very first thing I think of when I think of Al Gore is the incredible caricature that South Park did of him. How they could be so spot on in such a totally random way is just so good.

EXCELSIOR!

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2 minutes ago, eatcorn said:

I really like Al Gore. There, I said it.

That admitted, the very first thing I think of when I think of Al Gore is the incredible caricature that South Park did of him. How they could be so spot on in such a totally random way is just so good.

EXCELSIOR!

My favorite thing South Park has ever done remains its portrayal of John Travolta. 

 

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1 hour ago, mdrake34 said:

I've been meaning to read that book for years.  Never seen the movie. 

I hope your ready for the economic intricacies of the spice trade :ninja:

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2 hours ago, mdrake34 said:

My all-time favorite The Onion article was about Al Gore finally listening to hard rock after his divorce from Tipper.

1200.jpg

Fugg, I wear the same socks as Gore...this shyt stops tomorrow :lol:

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