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The first casualty of Sundays loss: Bryan Cox


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http://www.thefalcoholic.com/2016/9/12/12883444/dan-quinn-makes-first-sacrifice-to-appease-new-falcon-statue-bryan-cox

 

The Atlanta Falcons organization is nervous. They spent nearly $100 million in free agency, pulled in new starters from the draft, and are finishing up a $1.5 billion stadium. The results were the same. Dan Quinn knows pressure is mounting, and the Mercedez-Benz stadium’s monstrous, chrome statue is displeased.

Quinn must leave an offering at the altar of the bird to bring divine favor to the team. The Falcons will only become truly fast and physical with a blood sacrifice to this higher power: the all-knowing, all-powerful, 42-foot tall falcon.

 

But who is to blame for Atlanta’s poor performance? Who is truly worthy to be eaten by this deity?

Who is responsible for this?

 

Edit: fixed the name.

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To be fair to the OP, the Falcoholic article was framed the same way -- it strongly implied Cox had been fired until you read it.

I mean, it was obvious early in the article it was a spoof, but they aren't the Onion.  They need to stop trying to be.  Either that or I'm going to start assuming all of Matthew Chambers articles are satire.

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Honestly, who can come in and make lemonade out of these lemons. Nobody!

There is no talent! Nobody to step up and take a game over. Any new coach to come in here will have the same results.

That's why I have understood that this team is a rebuild in progress...everybody out there freaking out needs to understand this.

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1 hour ago, E. T. said:

Honestly, who can come in and make lemonade out of these lemons. Nobody!

There is no talent! Nobody to step up and take a game over. Any new coach to come in here will have the same results.

That's why I have understood that this team is a rebuild in progress...everybody out there freaking out needs to understand this.

Sorry.  Hageman is talent.  Beasley is talent.  Freeney is old talent but he's talent.  Jarrett is talent.

We don't lack talent.  We lack something in the pass rush department, but we don't lack talent.

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4 minutes ago, JDaveG said:

Sorry.  Hageman is talent.  Beasley is talent.  Freeney is old talent but he's talent.  Jarrett is talent.

We don't lack talent.  We lack something in the pass rush department, but we don't lack talent.

With the exception of Freeney who has made a name for himself in the past.... Hage, Beas, Jarrett still have yet to do so. They are big and fit the mold but they lack talent and technique. Talent should have at least got us some sacks yesterday. Yes they are young, but something should have stood out against a TB oline. Nothing did.

We shall see what unfolds...

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48 minutes ago, JDaveG said:

Sorry.  Hageman is talent.  Beasley is talent.  Freeney is old talent but he's talent.  Jarrett is talent.

We don't lack talent.  We lack something in the pass rush department, but we don't lack talent.

This is a big problem around here.,People struggle to evaluate talent based on the rest of the league and OVER VALUE the talent Atlanta Falcons process.  We are last in sacks for a reason and it's not because two coaching staffs have no idea how to coach.  We DO NOT have one of the most talented rosters in the league as some suggest on this forum nor is this Falcons roster the most talented Falcons roster ever as many have suggested.  We have 3 true studs on this team, Julio Jones, Trufant and Free. That's it! MAYBE some of the new guys will evolve into difference makers but that far from a forgone conclusion. 

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47 minutes ago, E. T. said:

With the exception of Freeney who has made a name for himself in the past.... Hage, Beas, Jarrett still have yet to do so. They are big and fit the mold but they lack talent and technique. Talent should have at least got us some sacks yesterday. Yes they are young, but something should have stood out against a TB oline. Nothing did.

We shall see what unfolds...

You didn't say people who have made a name for themselves.  You said talent.  Hageman and Beasley have elite talent.  That doesn't mean either of them will ever be great players, because intangibles count too.

12 minutes ago, insight said:

This is a big problem around here.,People struggle to evaluate talent based on the rest of the league and OVER VALUE the talent Atlanta Falcons process.  We are last in sacks for a reason and it's not because two coaching staffs have no idea how to coach.  We DO NOT have one of the most talented rosters in the league as some suggest on this forum nor is this Falcons roster the most talented Falcons roster ever as many have suggested.  We have 3 true studs on this team, Julio Jones, Trufant and Free. That's it! MAYBE some of the new guys will evolve into difference makers but that far from a forgone conclusion. 

That's not a struggle.  You can look at their speed and power and strength and ability to jump and cut and tell they have talent.

What the coaching staff does with that talent, and more important, what each player does with it, is another matter.

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