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Dear Lord,

It has been many a year since we last spoke. In 2010, my message board brethren and I called out to you to lay your blessed hands upon the groin of John Abraham and use your healing touch to ensure no harm should befall the parts of our magnificent, bald, black, 6"4 pass rushing specimen. You worked your magic on Abraham's groin, and every time I saw Abraham turn the corner and explode all over a QB, we rejoiced and thanked you with the knowledge that only the firm hands of God on his groin was what allowed him to perform such amazing feats.

But now we come to you with a new problem God. Another player of the Atlanta Falcons has had their groin stricken with malignancy. Brooks Reed has been stricken by evil. To be more specific, a demon has violated the groin of our dear Reed. Brooks Reed is a devout, beautiful, long haired, 6"3, 255 lb pass rusher that needs your powerful hands to reach down from the heavens and touch him in his ailed groin. Only you lord, can cure Reed of the demons that have infested in groin area by rubbing your powerful healing hands all over the groin of this Falcon. Let the power of God and baby Jesus reach down and place your hands upon Reed's groin.

Thank You,

Free Radical

I ask the message board to join me to recite with me every day, twice on Sunday, this short prayer until the groin of Brooks Reed is healed. "Dear heavenly Father, reach down from the heavens and lay your powerful, healing hands upon the groin of Brooks Reed and cure his groin of all ailments. May baby Jesus reach out and grab the groin of Brooks Reed and extinguish all pain and suffering contained within. Please let your hands work out all evils that have befallen his groin, and allow Reed to walk the field and play with the other Falcons knowing his groin is protected by the heavenly hands of the Lord and baby Jesus to which we pray, amen."

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You clowns may have just unwittingly jinxed us.....way to go.

Did you not witness the power of praying to baby Jesus and the lord for the continued hand laying upon his groin? How many groin pulls did he have after we began the yearly ritual? None. Do not question the power of God rubbing his mighty hands upon a player's groin!

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