Free Radical 3,459 Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 Dear Lord, It has been many a year since we last spoke. In 2010, my message board brethren and I called out to you to lay your blessed hands upon the groin of John Abraham and use your healing touch to ensure no harm should befall the parts of our magnificent, bald, black, 6"4 pass rushing specimen. You worked your magic on Abraham's groin, and every time I saw Abraham turn the corner and explode all over a QB, we rejoiced and thanked you with the knowledge that only the firm hands of God on his groin was what allowed him to perform such amazing feats. But now we come to you with a new problem God. Another player of the Atlanta Falcons has had their groin stricken with malignancy. Brooks Reed has been stricken by evil. To be more specific, a demon has violated the groin of our dear Reed. Brooks Reed is a devout, beautiful, long haired, 6"3, 255 lb pass rusher that needs your powerful hands to reach down from the heavens and touch him in his ailed groin. Only you lord, can cure Reed of the demons that have infested in groin area by rubbing your powerful healing hands all over the groin of this Falcon. Let the power of God and baby Jesus reach down and place your hands upon Reed's groin.Thank You,Free RadicalI ask the message board to join me to recite with me every day, twice on Sunday, this short prayer until the groin of Brooks Reed is healed. "Dear heavenly Father, reach down from the heavens and lay your powerful, healing hands upon the groin of Brooks Reed and cure his groin of all ailments. May baby Jesus reach out and grab the groin of Brooks Reed and extinguish all pain and suffering contained within. Please let your hands work out all evils that have befallen his groin, and allow Reed to walk the field and play with the other Falcons knowing his groin is protected by the heavenly hands of the Lord and baby Jesus to which we pray, amen." Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MD-FalconFan13 3,571 Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Duff_Man 12,132 Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 I only recognize one god, and that is Dave Grohl. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Simicager 89 Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ATLFalcon36 3,045 Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 Thank you Free Radical... you have done the good work here, thank you for hearing my calls. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Leggggggo 1,099 Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 Faith is a gift I have yet to receive... My mind tells me I'm not meant to understand it.... But my heart is speaking to me in ways I've never felt... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MACK4ttACK 1,877 Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 Praise be to Worrilow Amen Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ATLFalcon36 3,045 Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 I only recognize one god, and that is Dave Grohl.Good man... Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Jen 371 Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 Finally a prayer I can get behind. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
DriveHomeSafelyAtlantaWins 2,060 Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 Shouldn't you also mention little baby Jesus? Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Free Radical 3,459 Posted September 25, 2015 Author Share Posted September 25, 2015 Shouldn't you also mention little baby Jesus?You're right. I'm a little rusty. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Carl927 3,376 Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 You'd probably get more divine sympathy if you just asked the lord to keep on smiting the cowboys. Perhaps He could get Weeden to come down with a bad case of locusts. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Grrrillapmpn Inc.® 7,366 Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Hoopah! 84,342 Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 I maintain that Abe got drunk and left his groin in a strip club. Reed found it, didn't realize it was broken, and put it on. That's not what really happened, but that's how I like to imagine it did. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tony Diesel 2,592 Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
TheFatboi 29,073 Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 I only recognize one god, and that is Dave Grohl.Dave Grohl is a beast!!! In a good way!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Knight of God 54,659 Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 Dear Lord, I pray that you would touch the hearts of everyone here. Also bless us all with forgiveness, understanding, compassion, knowledge, and wisdom. In the name of Jesus I sincerely pray. Amen. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
BirdBrain53 40 Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 You clowns may have just unwittingly jinxed us.....way to go. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ATLFalcon36 3,045 Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 You clowns may have just unwittingly jinxed us.....way to go.You have underestimated the power of this... It is no jinx, it is tried and true. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
EJmusic 2,338 Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 YES LAWDDD!!! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Carl927 3,376 Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 You clowns may have just unwittingly jinxed us.....way to go.Don't worry, man. God doesn't browse here. He hangs out on the Packers board. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Free Radical 3,459 Posted September 25, 2015 Author Share Posted September 25, 2015 You clowns may have just unwittingly jinxed us.....way to go.Did you not witness the power of praying to baby Jesus and the lord for the continued hand laying upon his groin? How many groin pulls did he have after we began the yearly ritual? None. Do not question the power of God rubbing his mighty hands upon a player's groin! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
MattM12 1,785 Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
brewman 839 Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 Amen and Hallelujah. Lord, please lay your blessed hands upon Sunshine's groin. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Tim Mazetti 12,192 Posted September 25, 2015 Share Posted September 25, 2015 You'd probably get more divine sympathy if you just asked the lord to keep on smiting the cowboys. Perhaps He could get Weeden to come down with a bad case of locusts.STOP, man! LOL! Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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