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Should Matt Ryan Or Rex Grossman Start For The Falcons? An Important Comparison

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Guest Dirty Bird Nation ®

Guest Dirty Bird Nation ®

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http://uproxx.com/sports/2015/08/should-matt-ryan-or-rex-grossman-start-for-the-falcons-an-important-comparison/2/

newlogo.png?w=650&h=588

Atlanta Falcons Fans, rejoice. The Sex Cannon has risen again. Rex Grossman the gunslinger is back. On Wednesday morning, he signed a one-year deal with the Falcons to presumably back up Matt Ryan.

Rex hasn’t played football in more than a year since getting cut by the Browns during last preseason and then rejecting the Browns late in 2014. He hasn’t been a starter since his tenure with Washington in 2011, before he was replaced with the inferior RGIII (Rex’s full name is Rex Daniel Grossman III, he was the original RGIII). But none of that matters, because Sexy Rexy is like riding a bike. Once you know how to throw it deep into triple coverage every play, you don’t forget. (Obligatory Link to Drew Magary’s greatest achievement.)

Obviously Matt Ryan is still the starter. For now. How long can it be before new coach Dan Quinn sees that Ryan can’t throw a deep ball for sh*t and unleashes the dragon and impregnates the entire crowd with 60 yard bombs to Julio Jones. Rex Grossman is football cocaine. He’s bad for you, but it’s so fun you don’t really care as it’s happening. It might suck when eventually the ball comes down into a DB’s hands for the fifth time, but who cares, you can’t wait to get that high again. Dumpoffs? Dumpoffs are safe passes for weeny baby man quarterbacks. Five-yard outs? Are you kidding me? Touch Passes? Do you even have testicles? You probably don’t, and you probably drive a Prius or a Ford Focus and eat kale. Rex Grossman eats a 50 ounce Porterhouse every day.

Hotlanta just got a whole lot hotter. Matty Ice and The Dragon, a song of Ice and Fire. So who should start? Let’s look at the QB depth chart for Atlanta, Goofus & Gallant style. Matt Ryan is a good QB and all that but he’s about as interesting as a Nilla Wafer.

ryanrex.png?w=376&h=1024

I would also like to take this moment to remind everyone that if you think Sexy Rexy refers to Rex Ryan, get the **** out of whatever office you are currently in and go jump off a bridge, your inferior understanding of what makes a Rexy Sexy is holding back our advancement as a species and that oxygen you waste can be put to better use. All hail your new overlord, Atlanta. You shall burn again, with Dragon Fire.

Edited by Dirty Bird Nation
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Guest Dirty Bird Nation ®

Guest Dirty Bird Nation ®

Posted
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> article says Matt Ryan doesn't have the best deep ball

> last year Matt Ryan had the best deep ball

kk

It's a satire article man. Haha

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Guest Dirty Bird Nation ®

Guest Dirty Bird Nation ®

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Yeah that kind of threw me. Some images are never shaken.

Lol yeah it was pretty funny, I just like to throw away those misconceptions about Matt and his deep ball. Satire or not!

Yea, at this point, i think most people know. I think the writer just did it to serve his comedic agenda XD

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Hashbrown3 Mentor

Hashbrown3

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http://uproxx.com/sports/2015/08/should-matt-ryan-or-rex-grossman-start-for-the-falcons-an-important-comparison/2/

newlogo.png?w=650&h=588

Atlanta Falcons Fans, rejoice. The Sex Cannon has risen again. Rex Grossman the gunslinger is back. On Wednesday morning, he signed a one-year deal with the Falcons to presumably back up Matt Ryan.

Rex hasn’t played football in more than a year since getting cut by the Browns during last preseason and then rejecting the Browns late in 2014. He hasn’t been a starter since his tenure with Washington in 2011, before he was replaced with the inferior RGIII (Rex’s full name is Rex Daniel Grossman III, he was the original RGIII). But none of that matters, because Sexy Rexy is like riding a bike. Once you know how to throw it deep into triple coverage every play, you don’t forget. (Obligatory Link to Drew Magary’s greatest achievement.)

Obviously Matt Ryan is still the starter. For now. How long can it be before new coach Dan Quinn sees that Ryan can’t throw a deep ball for sh*t and unleashes the dragon and impregnates the entire crowd with 60 yard bombs to Julio Jones. Rex Grossman is football cocaine. He’s bad for you, but it’s so fun you don’t really care as it’s happening. It might suck when eventually the ball comes down into a DB’s hands for the fifth time, but who cares, you can’t wait to get that high again. Dumpoffs? Dumpoffs are safe passes for weeny baby man quarterbacks. Five-yard outs? Are you kidding me? Touch Passes? Do you even have testicles? You probably don’t, and you probably drive a Prius or a Ford Focus and eat kale. Rex Grossman eats a 50 ounce Porterhouse every day.

Hotlanta just got a whole lot hotter. Matty Ice and The Dragon, a song of Ice and Fire. So who should start? Let’s look at the QB depth chart for Atlanta, Goofus & Gallant style. Matt Ryan is a good QB and all that but he’s about as interesting as a Nilla Wafer.

ryanrex.png?w=376&h=1024

I would also like to take this moment to remind everyone that if you think Sexy Rexy refers to Rex Ryan, get the **** out of whatever office you are currently in and go jump off a bridge, your inferior understanding of what makes a Rexy Sexy is holding back our advancement as a species and that oxygen you waste can be put to better use. All hail your new overlord, Atlanta. You shall burn again, with Dragon Fire.

LOL

Crazy+Russian+people.gif

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Atlfanstckndenver Newbie

Atlfanstckndenver

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Posted

http://uproxx.com/sports/2015/08/should-matt-ryan-or-rex-grossman-start-for-the-falcons-an-important-comparison/2/

newlogo.png?w=650&h=588

Atlanta Falcons Fans, rejoice. The Sex Cannon has risen again. Rex Grossman the gunslinger is back. On Wednesday morning, he signed a one-year deal with the Falcons to presumably back up Matt Ryan.

Rex hasnt played football in more than a year since getting cut by the Browns during last preseason and then rejecting the Browns late in 2014. He hasnt been a starter since his tenure with Washington in 2011, before he was replaced with the inferior RGIII (Rexs full name is Rex Daniel Grossman III, he was the original RGIII). But none of that matters, because Sexy Rexy is like riding a bike. Once you know how to throw it deep into triple coverage every play, you dont forget. (Obligatory Link to Drew Magarys greatest achievement.)

Obviously Matt Ryan is still the starter. For now. How long can it be before new coach Dan Quinn sees that Ryan cant throw a deep ball for sh*t and unleashes the dragon and impregnates the entire crowd with 60 yard bombs to Julio Jones. Rex Grossman is football cocaine. Hes bad for you, but its so fun you dont really care as its happening. It might suck when eventually the ball comes down into a DBs hands for the fifth time, but who cares, you cant wait to get that high again. Dumpoffs? Dumpoffs are safe passes for weeny baby man quarterbacks. Five-yard outs? Are you kidding me? Touch Passes? Do you even have testicles? You probably dont, and you probably drive a Prius or a Ford Focus and eat kale. Rex Grossman eats a 50 ounce Porterhouse every day.

Hotlanta just got a whole lot hotter. Matty Ice and The Dragon, a song of Ice and Fire. So who should start? Lets look at the QB depth chart for Atlanta, Goofus & Gallant style. Matt Ryan is a good QB and all that but hes about as interesting as a Nilla Wafer.

ryanrex.png?w=376&h=1024

I would also like to take this moment to remind everyone that if you think Sexy Rexy refers to Rex Ryan, get the **** out of whatever office you are currently in and go jump off a bridge, your inferior understanding of what makes a Rexy Sexy is holding back our advancement as a species and that oxygen you waste can be put to better use. All hail your new overlord, Atlanta. You shall burn again, with Dragon Fire.

i would really like to see Ryan's reaction if somebody where to show him this. Or Grossman's for that matter.
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jeffro2000 Newbie

jeffro2000

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That was hilarious to me.

I know the article is a joke, but there are still a lot of people who think Ryan has a noodle arm.

It is that duck Hail Mary he threw yrs ago.

Also people think he is all dink and dunk but what choice has he had recently?

No run game, poor protection, 2 deep safeties, and a bunch of option routes that become 10yrd stops when they can't get over the top.

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Mr.11 Proficient

Mr.11

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Hasn't Rex won more playoff games than Matt Ryan? I think that solves it. Because CLEARLY a qb who has more playoff wins let a lone a super bowl win is better than a qb with only one playoff win. Right?

Peyton Manning would like a word with you.

Edited by JerseyNo12
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Guest Dirty Bird Nation ®

Guest Dirty Bird Nation ®

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The title gave me an instantaneous headache. I really liked the Margary link.

took the title from the article hehe

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jaschart Newbie

jaschart

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took the title from the article hehe

I seriously thought the board had hit a low that I didn't think it was capable of. Fortunately I quickly saw the "Hilarious write up" tag before my head could drop into my hands. I was expecting at least the top three threads to be seething hatred of Grossman when I logged on tonight. "Should Matt Ryan or Rex Grossman start..." as the top thread almost knocked me out of my chair.

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