Espn Article - Shane Ray's Way Out..

[g-dawg]

Saturday, March 28, 2015
Updated: March 29, 2:26 PM ET
Shane Ray's way out

By Elizabeth Merrill
ESPN.com

link to Tom Rinaldi short video feature on Shane Ray as well: http://espn.go.com/nfl/

SO HERE COMES the son of a Missouri football legend, in size 52 husky pants. You cannot take your eyes off of him, not because of his speed or agility but because he can't keep those **** pants up over his rear end. He doesn't run so much as he waddles. He is awkward, unsure of himself -- abandonment issues, his mother says -- and, if there are 22 boys on this football field, he'd probably be picked 21st.

But it is the fall of 2006, the year before her son starts high school, and Sebrina Johnson is desperate. She knows this has to work. Her only child's idol is an older cousin who has taken up with the wrong crowd, and, in a few months, will be murdered in a botched robbery attempt. Sebrina will be the one who identifies the body of that cousin, Justen Johnson, and will make the funeral arrangements.

Football might not look as if it will weigh too prominently in Shane Ray's future at this particular moment -- he'd already quit the sport once, in fifth grade -- but it's the best lifeline Sebrina can come up with. She can feel him slipping away, closer to the streets. She takes the doughy eighth-grader to a park where the 39th Street Giants are playing. The area is known for being sketchy, but it feels safe. She is greeted by a man named Tom Shortell, dentist by day, football coach by night.

In a moment that would change Shane Ray's life, Shortell sizes up the kid and asks him, "Son, do you want to play football?"

"Yeah, I guess," Shane says.

MOST FOOTBALL FANS would say that Shane Ray's life-changing moment hasn't happened yet. It will come late next month, when the consensus All-America defensive end from Missouri is selected in the NFL draft, possibly as one of the first 10 names called on the Auditorium Theatre stage in downtown Chicago.

After sleeping on floors and living in a ZIP code known as Kansas City's murder factory, Shane will not want for a comfortable bed in a safe neighborhood. He will make millions of dollars from an NFL team salivating for his first-step explosiveness, his strength and his versatility.

Sebrina will weep when his name is called. Shane will hold up an NFL jersey and be whisked to a new city and life. But it will not be his defining moment. He has had too many of those already.

"Everybody's like, 'Will he go first?'" Sebrina says. "That's great, but who that guy is and what kind of a man he is ... that's the biggest win ever. He's going to make somebody a good husband. He's going to impact so many lives beyond this platform.

"That's my biggest accomplishment."

For at least half of her life, Sebrina says, she didn't know a good man. She knew smooth-talking men with beautiful faces and large muscles. She knew the kind of men whose lives were preordained for trouble.

But a good man? She wasn't even sure one existed.

She'd first encountered Shane's father, Wendell Ray, at a Bally's gym in Kansas City. He was the biggest man she'd met in her life. She'd never seen anyone so handsome. It wasn't until after they started going out that she learned who Wendell once was, star defensive lineman at the University of Missouri, drafted by theMinnesota Vikings in 1981 before injuries derailed his career.

Everything with Sebrina and Wendell moved fast. About seven months after they met, she was pregnant. Right around the time she was due, in the spring of 1993, she knew that their relationship was over and that Shane would be her responsibility alone.

He weighed 10 pounds at birth. He arrived several weeks late, tangled in the umbilical cord, and had to be removed by cesarean section. Wracked with pain and hopped up on morphine, she didn't see him until a day or two after the delivery. When she held him, the baby stared at her.

Sebrina promised him the best life ever.

She insisted on giving him a name that was nonspecific racially: Shane Michael Ray. Sebrina's mother, Louise, balked about it, convinced her grandson was going to get beat up regularly because it sounded like a white boy's name.

Sebrina told her mom that was OK. "When he puts his name on an application," she said, "he'll get an interview."

Being an African-American male, Sebrina says, is difficult. Especially without a father. So she did proactive things to make sure he had an opportunity. He was not allowed to use slang. "****, no," she says.

Sebrina lugged the kid around while she pursued her college degree, exposing him to books and deep thoughts and expanded vocabularies. But no matter what she did, Shane still yearned for his father.

Sebrina eventually married a man named Emanuel McCrainey when Ray was around 6. McCrainey and Sebrina opened a Cajun restaurant called The Red Vine in Kansas City's jazz district. Sebrina made sweet-potato cheesecake; McCrainey coached Shane's youth football team. They were a family.

But then the marriage collapsed, the restaurant closed, and Sebrina and Shane, who was about 10 at the time, were on their own again. Sebrina had an information technology job before she got into the restaurant business, but that was gone, and she scrambled to find work.

They were thrown back into the inner city, back to the murder factory. Their street was constantly in the news. A small sampling of what Shane saw: a woman busting open a man's head with a baseball bat; a dead body lying in the street.

As times got tougher, Shane's outer shell became harder. One of the most important males in his life at the time was his cousin Justen, who was eight years older and had survived another shooting years before his eventual death in 2007. Shane always wanted to tag along with Justen. And the longer he was around that life, the more it seemed palatable. Sebrina knew she was losing him.

"Sometimes even parents out here lose hope," Shane says, looking back. "You have no outlet. You're stuck in this, and that's what they continue to feel. They're stuck in it forever. What's the point? Everyone else is on the corner selling drugs; everyone else is toting guns.

"When I think about my situation, I just always remember, whenever I would stick my head in the pond, someone was pulling me out."

THE CONCORD FORTRESS OF HOPE CHURCH is one of the many places Sebrina would pray for her son. J.J. Smith, a former running back for theKansas City Chiefs, also attended the church, and he became someone Sebrina could turn to for advice. Smith urged her to see Tom Shortell, the coach of the 39th Street Giants.

The park was chaotic the day Sebrina and Shane arrived, with adolescents running around and paperwork flying about. Sebrina asked Shortell whether he needed some help. Of course he did. She grabbed a clipboard and became the team mom, driving kids around, handling details.

People around the program at the time of Shane's debut with the Giants paint a similar and rather unflattering picture of the future SEC Defensive Player of the Year. Shortell says he was shaped like a toad.

About the only place Shane moved quickly, apparently, was in front of a refrigerator. His cousin Ronnie Johnson says Shane would often go to a relative's house and polish off leftovers meant for a family of four. Maybe the food comforted him, Sebrina says.

But when Shane was on the field, he tried so hard. He'd go against anybody, get his butt kicked and come back for more.

Playing for the Giants did something else for Shane. He was surrounded by positive male figures. Shortell, who is white, has four boys, two of whom played with Shane for the Giants.

They immediately became like his brothers. He'd spend weekends at the Shortells' home, and the boys would wrestle and roughhouse. Shane was so polite that Shortell got to calling the kid the "New Eddie Haskell," a knockoff of the brown-nosing character from the old TV show "Leave It to Beaver."

They ate hamburgers and hot dogs together, and Shane's weekends with the Irish-Catholic sports-crazed family flew by. Shortell says he didn't make a point of trying to help Shane. It just seemed natural. So when it was time for high school for Shane, Shortell suggested that Sebrina send him to Bishop Miege, a private Catholic school just over the state line in Roeland Park, Kansas. There, he told her, Shane would have structure. He'd follow a dress code and get hounded about his grades, and he'd play for Tim Grunhard, a former Kansas City Chiefs lineman.

There was only one problem. Bishop Miege cost nearly $10,000 a year. Sebrina worked and made sacrifices to send him there. But freshman year, Shane rebelled against the school's strict rules. He was constantly in detention, late for football practice and challenging the school's dress code.

Shane was going through a lot at the time. Not only had he lost Justen, but his aunt Carmelita had died of colon cancer a few months later.

Carmelita was one of Shane's biggest supporters. She collected his football jerseys. To get an idea of how close-knit the Johnson family is, everything revolves around Louise Johnson's house. She's the matriarch, mother of Sebrina and Carmelita, grandma to Shane. The cousins would play football in a patchy lot beside her house; the adults would always lean on Louise. Carmelita spent her final days in Louise's house, ultimately dying in her bed. For years, Louise refused to replace the bed.

Shane was a concern for much of the family, but nobody thought he was a bad kid. He was acting out, Shortell says, because he needed help.

After all the troubles his freshman year, Shane wanted out of Miege. Sebrina was on the verge of pulling him when Grunhard encouraged her to give it another year to see whether he could work things out. His sophomore season, Shane was injured during a game, hit in the head/neck area. As he lay on the turf, he couldn't move, and he had to be carried off on a stretcher. It turned out to be a bad stinger, but Grunhard could see the look of fear in his eyes. For about 30 minutes, Shane thought everything might be over for him.

"He was given a second chance to kind of wake up and do it the right way," Grunhard says. "I think at that point he decided to make a change in his lifestyle."

By that time, Shane was starting to look the part of a serious football player. He had spent the summer before his sophomore year visiting relatives in New Orleans and mowed lawns from morning until night in the Louisiana heat. By the time he got back to Kansas City, he was hardly recognizable. He was no longer chubby, and he had experienced a significant growth spurt.

Shane committed himself to football, and slowly evolved into one of the best defensive ends in the Kansas City area. He led Bishop Miege to the state championship his junior season.

The University of Missouri, his father's old school, offered him a scholarship. When Grunhard found out that coach Gary Pinkel was going to extend the offer, he called Sebrina. He knew how important this was to her.

Grunhard had her hide in the hallway outside his office while Shane took the call from Pinkel. When the coach delivered the news, Shane's face lit up. Grunhard could tell he wanted to call his mom when he hung up. Then Sebrina walked into the room. Mother and son cried and hugged. In their minds, they had made it.

"She's very tough," Grunhard says. "She had to be the dad. She had to be the disciplinarian. But the biggest compliment I can give her is this: She was one **** of a mother."

Shane went to Missouri, endured more growing pains and attitude adjustments, and after redshirting in 2011, he backed up Kony Ealy and Michael Sam before becoming a starter as a junior. Before games, Sebrina would send him the same text. "Be great," the texts would say. "Be as great as God intended you to be."

His junior year, he recorded 14.5 sacks, breaking the Mizzou single-season record held by Sam and Aldon Smith.

Sebrina was a regular in the stands at Missouri. And so was Shane's father.

Wendell, who was cited for nonpayment of child support, insists he's always had a relationship with his son. That's why he made the 125-mile trips from his home in St. Louis to Columbia to watch his son's games. When he sees Shane play, it reminds him of himself.

At Shane's pro day recently, Wendell wore a T-shirt that said "The Original Shane Ray." When Sebrina and her mother, Louise, saw the shirt, they became upset. They asked him to take the shirt off or cover it up because they believed it was taking away from Shane's day. Wendell eventually put on his jacket.

He scoffs at the notion that he wore the shirt to draw attention to himself. He says he was an "icon" at Missouri and wore the shirt because he's proud to be Shane's dad.

"I don't want to sound arrogant," Wendell says, "but when Shane was born, here I am, 6-foot-5, 240 pounds, with my physical build and everything ... I expected him to be an athlete. "Sebrina has males on her side of the family. None of them are athletic at all. None of them played hopscotch. He got that athleticism from the Ray family. Right here from this family."

When Wendell's football career ended, it launched him into a depression. He couldn't even watch the game on TV for a couple of years.

But he loves watching Shane. Last year, after an early-season game, Wendell found Shortell near the locker room and extended his hand. He thanked the coach for spending time with his son and helping him out.

Shortell understands why, despite feeling abandoned for two decades, Shane would want to get to know his father. Life is too short, he says, and the bitterness would only eat Shane up inside.

Wendell says that he tried to be in his son's life when he was younger but that it's complicated. He says Sebrina didn't want him around their son. He relays a story about waiting in a Kansas City hotel to pick up Shane, but nobody in the house answered the phone. At the drop of a hat, Sebrina can rattle off the times Wendell wasn't there, and how it devastated their son. His signing day for Missouri. His high school games. The times when Shane was spiraling out of control.

Wendell grew up in north St. Louis, a rough area he says is nicknamed "The Belly of the Beast." He says it would make Shane's old neighborhood look nice. Although he concedes that Sebrina did a good job bringing up Shane, he insists he would've been there more if Sebrina had let him.

"He can't say I kept him from him," Sebrina says, "because that was never the case."

Wendell says he isn't interested in Shane's money or fame. He just wants to see him and enjoy him.

IT'S A COLD TUESDAY in Missouri, and Shane Ray is at his mom's house in Raytown, getting a haircut. Ray is debating the nutritional virtues of Chipotle vs. McDonald's with his cousin Ronnie, who has taken a liking to a vegan diet.

Ronnie is four years older than Shane, who lived with Ronnie's family during some of the tough times, when Sebrina was just divorced and looking for work. Ronnie, like Shane, battled weight problems as a kid. But there was an advantage to that; they were about the same size. They shared a pair of Sean John jeans one school year. Ronnie would wear them one week, Shane the next.

Ronnie, who's going to the University of Missouri-Kansas City, plans to live with his cousin once Shane gets drafted. He's ready to transfer to another school and finish his degree in communications, ready to try something new. He also wants to look out for his cousin as he navigates his rookie season in the NFL.

Whenever Shane's in town, Ronnie wants to go out, but Sebrina usually nixes their plans. One night recently, they hung out, and Sebrina woke up in the middle of the night and didn't see Shane's car in the driveway. She called Ronnie, Ronnie's dad and Shane. Turns out, Shane was home. She just didn't see his car.

"I will tell you this," Ronnie says. "His mother has always been very protective. I'm like, 'Auntie, you can't live like that. Anything can happen to anybody.'"

Sebrina knows this. She just doesn't want it happening to her son. When he's home, near the murder factory, near the place her nephew died, it's instinct that makes her pull him in tighter, even though he's a grown man.

Before Justen was shot, he had a son. Shane saw the path his cousin's life was taking, and, although he wasn't even a teenager yet, he made big Justen a promise: If anything happened to him, Shane would take care of little Justen.

A few months ago, Shane was in town when he found out little Justen, 8, had gotten himself in trouble. He found out Justen had stolen some candy from a dollar store. He took the boy into a bedroom at Shane's grandmother's house.

Shane told Justen he wasn't going to tolerate stealing. He said he'd be checking on him weekly and would call his teachers if he had to. When Shane left, the little boy was crying. He said he wasn't going to get in any more trouble.

Shane wants to make sure that someone's always there pushing little Justen to be better, even though his dad is gone.

"I know if there wasn't football ... I could be dead," Shane says. "I could be in jail; I could be in the streets. I could have nothing."

Ronnie Johnson was there for the toughest times, but he isn't sure that's true. There's no way Shane could've fallen. He had too many people waiting to catch him.

[Jerry Maguire]

I will not bet against the guy. Wherever he goes I hope he succeeds.

[Francis York Morgan]

Love him as a person, that's for sure. Fantastic player. Don't think he'd necessarily fit with us but I'll root for him wherever he goes.

[Butudontseeme™]

Good read. Thanks G Dawg

[g-dawg]

Yeah, nice read - I always love these kind of stories - feel like you know the player after you read this. Like Falcan Moore said, regardless of if he is a Falcon or not, will root for the kid to have a good NFL career and an even better life off the field. Good luck Shane Ray!

[HEIST]

Hope he has a good career

[g-dawg]

The dad sounds like a dirt-bag. Typical of some of these abscentee fathers - they show up when the son finally makes it and the money is about to start rolling in.

nevertheless, I understand Shane should repair his relationship with his father regardless.

[toadfishtom]

He came up the hard way

They say adversity builds character

[g-dawg]

He came up the hard way

They say adversity builds character

unfortunately too many young men (and women) are growing up w/o fathers - wish it was different. Thank God for these mothers that step-up when the fathers disappear.

[blkbigdog35]

This is a heart warming story I wish him the best and would be ecstatic if he's wearing red and black!

[ATLsuperfan247]

unfortunately too many young men (and women) are growing up w/o fathers - wish it was different. Thank God for these mothers that step-up when the fathers disappear.

I am a father of one with a great relationship with my kid. That being said being a parent is hard work. Some people don't have it in them to handle such responsibility. And probably shouldn't be in there kids life. I'm not condoning his father for not being there but I think in some cases it's the best case scenario. Regardless on how anyone thinks about someone else's situation. I study a little in childhood development and iv seen so many instances where the father or/and mother influences children to make bad decisions. So I don't feel bad for ray or his mother its they're best case scenario, that all this happened because his father wasn't there. He might have ended up falling into that dark whole if his father was around. Edited March 29, 2015 by ATLsuperfan247

[g-dawg]

I am a father of one with a great relationship with my kid. That being said being a parent is hard work. Some people don't have it in them to handle such responsibility. And probably shouldn't be in there kids life. I'm not condoning his father for not being there but I think in some cases it's the best case scenario. Regardless on how anyone thinks about someone else's situation. I study a little in childhood development and iv seen so many instances where the father or/and mother influences children to make bad decisions. So I don't feel bad for ray or his mother they best case scenario that all this happened because his father wasn't there. He might have ended up falling in that dark whole if his father was around.

that is true too - but just a further indictment on his father - ***get your sheot together*** - if you wanna play house, then be ready when the baby comes - be a man!

just watched the Tom Rinaldi feature on Shane Ray - dad seemed like he was probably a narcissist. I cannot say for sure - pure speculation - maybe drugs? I dunno - maybe not. I don't claim to know the dad's personal circumstances other than not being there for his son.

tired of people giving young fathers a pass - they don't deserve it. If any of you who are not fathers become fathers one day - I hope you are there for your kids - they deserve it - they deserve your very best - they deserve your love, they deserve your time, and yes, they deserve your financial support as well. BE A MAN - be a father!

[Mr. Hoopah!]

The dad sounds like a dirt-bag. Typical of some of these abscentee fathers - they show up when the son finally makes it and the money is about to start rolling in.

nevertheless, I understand Shane should repair his relationship with his father regardless.

A dirt bag dad is better than no dad. I'd give anything in this world for 15 more minutes with my father.

[DonDaLuvMaker]

unfortunately too many young men (and women) are growing up w/o fathers - wish it was different. Thank God for these mothers that step-up when the fathers disappear.

To be honest G-dawg, sometimes it's for the best for a child not to know their father based on what type of person they truly are.

I did not know who my father was until I was about 6 years old.

Then I only saw him pop up rarely over the rest of my childhood. He is a POS that tries to get over on everybody.

I remember the 1st time I actually tried to spend time with my father as a young boy, he left me at a house full of people that I didn't know so he could to go have sex with a woman elsewhere. He didn't come back until the next morning.

Disliked him ever since. He was also very abusive to my younger brother(we have different mothers), who wasn't born at the time I first met my father.

[Farmer2]

Great read, thanks for posting

[TheFalcoholic]

To be honest G-dawg, sometimes it's for the best for a child not to know their father based on what type of person they truly are.

I did not know who my father was until I was about 6 years old.

Then I only saw him pop up rarely over the rest of my childhood. He is a POS that tries to get over on everybody.

I remember the 1st time I actually tried to spend time with my father as a young boy, he left me at a house full of people that I didn't know so he could to go have sex with a woman elsewhere. He didn't come back until the next morning.

Disliked him ever since. He was also very abusive to my younger brother(we have different mothers), who wasn't born at the time I first met my father.

I think the point is, men need to stop being a POS and be the fathers their children need them to be.

Yeah it's best to have no father than to have one that's a POS but men need to take fatherhood seriously. Once you realize you're going to have a kid, your life should start to change.

[TheFalcoholic]

But on topic, I am proud of Shane Ray & I would be proud to call him a Falcon. Wish him all the best.

[DonDaLuvMaker]

I think the point is, men need to stop being a POS and be the fathers their children need them to be.

Yeah it's best to have no father than to have one that's a POS but men need to take fatherhood seriously. Once you realize you're going to have a kid, your life should start to change.

I agree 100%.

That is why I think that the men that are dedicated fathers to their children don't get enough credit.

[Falc_Fan_Since_Six]

I wish the young man all the best life has to offer. Not sure he's what we need but wherever he ends up, good luck to him.

[Sun Tzu 7]

I agree 100%.

That is why I think that the men that are dedicated fathers to their children don't get enough credit.

The guys I've always respected were the ones that came into a situation with children and raised them as their own with love, patience, & respect.

That's a real man because that isn't easy.

[Hibachi]

A lot like Davonta he came up the same way in pork and beans project this is the kind of guys you want around your team' they been through the bottom of what life brings.

[atljbo]

this dude is a dog on that field man ... you see why .... If we can get Beasley or Ray .. Im good

[Monolith2001]

Just saw the video playing on ESPN. Great story and wish him all the best. He's still my 3rd choice for the 8th pick. After that, it's trade down or BPA so I still think he's worth picking that high if he is still there and VB and DF are gone.

[g-dawg]

To be honest G-dawg, sometimes it's for the best for a child not to know their father based on what type of person they truly are.

I did not know who my father was until I was about 6 years old.

Then I only saw him pop up rarely over the rest of my childhood. He is a POS that tries to get over on everybody.

I remember the 1st time I actually tried to spend time with my father as a young boy, he left me at a house full of people that I didn't know so he could to go have sex with a woman elsewhere. He didn't come back until the next morning.

Disliked him ever since. He was also very abusive to my younger brother(we have different mothers), who wasn't born at the time I first met my father.

that is unfortunate for you and your brother. My father divorced my mom when I was 7yrs old and my sister 5. Had an affair with co-worker - he did marry her and I got another sister so it was not all for naught. While my dad was their financially, he only met the bare minimum - a weekend a month - for my formative years. Missed games and celebrations. My childhood did not suck and I did not have as tough as most, but it was far from ideal. I love my dad, even though it was not the relationship that I believe a father/son should have. I love my dad and I am glad for what we do have.

Me, I am a father of a 13 & 7yr old boy and beautiful 11yr old girl. Our family is intact and we spend lots of time together. However, there is always room for improvement and many things I could do better. Sometimes you don't get good warm fuzzies from the kids - but they notice when you show up and are there to support them in whatever they choose to do. Some say "half of life is just showin' up" - I think that is right - do more than that, strive for more - but as fathers - just, at least, for God's sake - show up - your kid notices.

[NateDogg1215]

that is unfortunate for you and your brother. My father divorced my mom when I was 7yrs old and my sister 5. Had an affair with co-worker - he did marry her and I got another sister so it was not all for naught. While my dad was their financially, he only met the bare minimum - a weekend a month - for my formative years. Missed games and celebrations. My childhood did not suck and I did not have as tough as most, but it was far from ideal. I love my dad, even though it was not the relationship that I believe a father/son should have. I love my dad and I am glad for what we do have.

Me, I am a father of a 13 & 7yr old boy and beautiful 11yr old girl. Our family is intact and we spend lots of time together. However, there is always room for improvement and many things I could do better. Sometimes you don't get good warm fuzzies from the kids - but they notice when you show up and are there to support them in whatever they choose to do. Some say "half of life is just showin' up" - I think that is right - do more than that, strive for more - but as fathers - just, at least, for God's sake - show up - your kid notices.

Great post. Kids don't understand until they get older . But they will notice if you are not around for the moments . I grew up an only child so I always wanted a big family and I have 4 kids now . It's more work than I ever imagined and sometimes crazy but they mean everything to me . I'm lucky I have a wife who's shares the same passion for our kids and family life .

Thanks for posting the story it was a great read. Wish him nothing but success .