mdrake34

Post The Best Thing You've Seen On The Internet Today, Part 2, Electric Boogaloo

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A large group of ISIS fighters in Iraq are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a sand dune: "One Marine is better than ten ISIS fighters."

The ISIS commander quickly orders 10 of his best men over the dune where a gun battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence.

The voice once again calls out: "One Marine is better than one hundred ISIS 'S.O.B.'s'."

Furious, the ISIS commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gun fight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence.

The voice calls out again: "One Marine is better than a thousand ISIS fighters." The enraged ISIS commander musters 1,000 fighters and sends them to the other side of the dune. Rifle fire, machine guns, grenades, rockets and cannon fire ring out as a terrible fight is fought ... then silence.

Eventually, one badly wounded ISIS fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his commander, "Don't send any more men ... it's a trap. There's two of them."

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The day that show came on "Living Loud" on 99X leaked that song!!! Then, a couple weeks later, maybe, at the Masqurade, I got to all of Issues at a listening party.

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laugh.pnglaugh.png First thing that popped into my head after reading this was that his fairy godmother must have granted Chipper his own twitter account. ph34r.png

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Literary Study Finds All Modern Narratives Derived From Classic ‘Alien Vs. Predator’ Conflict

News in BriefEntertainmentculture ISSUE 51•06 Feb 10, 2015

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OXFORD, ENGLAND—Explaining how the timeless clash between the two sides remains among the most elemental forms of storytelling worldwide, a study published Tuesday by researchers at Oxford University has concluded that virtually all modern narratives are re-expressions of the classic Alien Vs. Predator conflict. “The Epic Of Gilgamesh, Paradise Lost, The Old Man And The Sea—each is simply a different culture’s exploration of the ageless, universally relatable struggle between Alien and Predator,” said study co-author Dr. Gavin Horsley, who noted he has yet to encounter a civilization whose most prized written works and oral traditions did not derive from the prototypical confrontation between the savage Xenomorphs and their technologically advanced, extraterrestrial humanoid adversaries. “Even when the conflict is internal, such as that of the titular character in Shakespeare’s Hamlet, it’s one’s internal Alien versus one’s internal Predator—an extension of the classic AvP ur-myth that underpins every fictive struggle.” Horsley went on to cite Aliens Vs. Predator: Requiem as “a narrative Rosetta Stone” to deciphering any other sequel in the Eastern or Western canon.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/literary-study-finds-all-modern-narratives-derived,37978/

IronBallsMcGinty likes this

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