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Coulter: Any growing interest in soccer a sign of nation's moral decay

Ann Coulter, Syndicated columnist 4:37 p.m. CDT June 25, 2014

If more "Americans" are watching soccer today, it's only because of the demographic switch effected by Teddy Kennedy's 1965 immigration law. I promise you: No American whose great-grandfather was born here is watching soccer. One can only hope that, in addition to learning English, these new Americans will drop their soccer fetish with time.

I've held off on writing about soccer for a decade — or about the length of the average soccer game — so as not to offend anyone. But enough is enough. Any growing interest in soccer can only be a sign of the nation's moral decay.

• Individual achievement is not a big factor in soccer. In a real sport, players fumble passes, throw bricks and drop fly balls — all in front of a crowd. When baseball players strike out, they're standing alone at the plate. But there's also individual glory in home runs, touchdowns and slam-dunks.

In soccer, the blame is dispersed and almost no one scores anyway. There are no heroes, no losers, no accountability, and no child's fragile self-esteem is bruised. There's a reason perpetually alarmed women are called "soccer moms," not "football moms."

Do they even have MVPs in soccer? Everyone just runs up and down the field and, every once in a while, a ball accidentally goes in. That's when we're supposed to go wild. I'm already asleep.

• Liberal moms like soccer because it's a sport in which athletic talent finds so little expression that girls can play with boys. No serious sport is co-ed, even at the kindergarten level.

• No other "sport" ends in as many scoreless ties as soccer. This was an actual marquee sign by the freeway in Long Beach, California, about a World Cup game last week: "2nd period, 11 minutes left, score: 0:0." Two hours later, another World Cup game was on the same screen: "1st period, 8 minutes left, score: 0:0." If Michael Jackson had treated his chronic insomnia with a tape of Argentina vs. Brazil instead of Propofol, he'd still be alive, although bored.

Even in football, by which I mean football, there are very few scoreless ties — and it's a lot harder to score when a half-dozen 300-pound bruisers are trying to crush you.

• The prospect of either personal humiliation or major injury is required to count as a sport. Most sports are sublimated warfare. As Lady Thatcher reportedly said after Germany had beaten England in some major soccer game: Don't worry. After all, twice in this century we beat them at their national game.

Baseball and basketball present a constant threat of personal disgrace. In hockey, there are three or four fights a game — and it's not a stroll on beach to be on ice with a puck flying around at 100 miles per hour. After a football game, ambulances carry off the wounded. After a soccer game, every player gets a ribbon and a juice box.

• You can't use your hands in soccer. (Thus eliminating the danger of having to catch a fly ball.) What sets man apart from the lesser beasts, besides a soul, is that we have opposable thumbs. Our hands can hold things. Here's a great idea: Let's create a game where you're not allowed to use them!

• I resent the force-fed aspect of soccer. The same people trying to push soccer on Americans are the ones demanding that we love HBO's "Girls," light-rail, Beyonce and Hillary Clinton. The number of New York Times articles claiming soccer is "catching on" is exceeded only by the ones pretending women's basketball is fascinating.

I note that we don't have to be endlessly told how exciting football is.

• It's foreign. In fact, that's the precise reason the Times is constantly hectoring Americans to love soccer. One group of sports fans with whom soccer is not "catching on" at all, is African-Americans. They remain distinctly unimpressed by the fact that the French like it.

• Soccer is like the metric system, which liberals also adore because it's European. Naturally, the metric system emerged from the French Revolution, during the brief intervals when they weren't committing mass murder by guillotine.

Despite being subjected to Chinese-style brainwashing in the public schools to use centimeters and Celsius, ask any American for the temperature, and he'll say something like "70 degrees." Ask how far Boston is from New York City, he'll say it's about 200 miles.

Liberals get angry and tell us that the metric system is more "rational" than the measurements everyone understands. This is ridiculous. An inch is the width of a man's thumb, a foot the length of his foot, a yard the length of his belt. That's easy to visualize. How do you visualize 147.2 centimeters?

• Soccer is not "catching on." Headlines this week proclaimed "Record U.S. ratings for World Cup," and we had to hear — again about the "growing popularity of soccer in the United States."

The USA-Portugal game was the blockbuster match, garnering 18.2 million viewers on ESPN. This beat the second-most watched soccer game ever: The 1999 Women's World Cup final (USA vs. China) on ABC. (In soccer, the women's games are as thrilling as the men's.)

Run-of-the-mill, regular-season Sunday Night Football games average more than 20 million viewers; NFL playoff games get 30 to 40 million viewers; and this year's Super Bowl had 111.5 million viewers.

Remember when the media tried to foist British soccer star David Beckham and his permanently camera-ready wife on us a few years ago? Their arrival in America was heralded with 24-7 news coverage. That lasted about two days. Ratings tanked. No one cared.

If more "Americans" are watching soccer today, it's only because of the demographic switch effected by Teddy Kennedy's 1965 immigration law. I promise you: No American whose great-grandfather was born here is watching soccer. One can only hope that, in addition to learning English, these new Americans will drop their soccer fetish with time.

Ann Coulter is a syndicated columnist. Contact her through her website at www.anncoulter.com.

http://www.clarionledger.com/story/opinion/columnists/2014/06/25/coulter-growing-interest-soccer-sign-nations-moral-decay/11372137/

I thought this was an Onion article, but it's legit. She actually wrote this and published it. I don't even care for soccer, but this is the dumbest op-ed I've read in recent memory. It's xenophobic, vaguely homophobic, and just dumb.

But I support her write to free speech to have this opinion and publish it, however stupid and ****** it is.

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I'm still trying to figure out why so many arch-conservatives feel so threatened by soccer. My guess is that it's good old fashioned xenophobia. It's not a sport that was invented here, so we shouldn't like it.

It's absolutely xenophobia on their part. And also latent homophobia because they consider it a "sissy" sport, despite the fact there's much more contact in soccer than "America's game", baseball.

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wow, just wow

hey mdrake...are we allowed to dislike Soccer and not have latent homosexual tendencies if we also dislike baseball?

actually I enjoy both if there is a team I like playing. In the case of baseball, that is LSU or ULL and in the case of soccer it is the US team

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wow, just wow

hey mdrake...are we allowed to dislike Soccer and not have latent homosexual tendencies if we also dislike baseball?

actually I enjoy both if there is a team I like playing. In the case of baseball, that is LSU or ULL and in the case of soccer it is the US team

You can like and dislike anything that tickles your fancy as far as I'm concerned. Some right wing nut job telling us we're unpatriotic for liking some game invented by foreigners, when this country was founded by immigrants, causes me to lose a few IQ points just reading it.

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I think so too. No one can be that idiotic. I think AC and Rush both put on an act to drive ratings. The only one that is legitimately crazy is Glen Beck.

Glenn Beck actually admitted the "liberals" were right about Iraq the other day. I should have created a thread on it.

Glenn Beck: 'Liberals, You Were Right' About Iraq War

The Huffington Post | By Alana Horowitz

Posted: 06/17/2014 7:57 pm EDT Updated: 06/18/2014 1:59 am EDT Print Article

There are many things you'd never expect Glenn Beck to say: "Barack Obama is a great president," "the Affordable Care Act was a huge success," "amnesty for all undocumented immigrants!"

But "liberals, you were right" tops them all. And yet:

"From the beginning, most people on the left were against going into Iraq. I wasn’t.... Liberals, you were right. We shouldn’t have."

Beck made this surprising declaration on his radio show on Tuesday while discussing the widening rift between Republicans and Democrats. He urged both parties to come together to oppose another war in Iraq.

"Not one more life. Not one more life. Not one more dollar, not one more airplane, not one more bullet, not one more Marine, not one more arm or leg or eye. Not one more," he said. "This must end now. Now can't we come together on that?"

Meanwhile, the U.S. on Monday announced it would send more than 200 soldiers to Iraq to help deal with escalating attacks by the militant group ISIS. Secretary of State John Kerry indicated that the administration would consider conducting drone strikes.

Beck isn't alone in denouncing an intervention, but the situation has put a new spotlight on noted Iraq War hawks such as Former Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz and Iraq War architect Paul Bremer.

Watch the full segment above.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/06/17/glenn-beck-iraq-war_n_5505424.html

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I think so too. No one can be that idiotic. I think AC and Rush both put on an act to drive ratings. The only one that is legitimately crazy is Glen Beck.

O'Reilly is a character too. He's actually really smart, but he's just trying to stir the pot and play his character to get ratings. It works well for him. I hate listening to him on his show, but if I recall correctly, there was a debate he was in where he dropped the act and actually debated intelligently. People will over react to the character, click the links, send emails, put comments on there... it's all about hits and money.

Glenn Beck is a character too. Initially, when he first started, he was a fantastic host and promoted libertarian ideas, then he went all crazy and maybe that helped him blow up and let his career take off.

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They just play characters trying to get hits on their websites and TV shows.

Of course they do. Been that way for years. Sometimes I shake my head at Limbaugh and Coulter in particular because I know there's no way they believe half the things they put out there, and probably enjoy a good laugh at some of the things their followers nod their head and agree with amazed that some of it worked.

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O'Reilly is a character too. He's actually really smart, but he's just trying to stir the pot and play his character to get ratings. It works well for him. I hate listening to him on his show, but if I recall correctly, there was a debate he was in where he dropped the act and actually debated intelligently. People will over react to the character, click the links, send emails, put comments on there... it's all about hits and money.

Yup. He's a character just like Larry the Cable Guy is.

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I hate soccer. I'm also not a fan of basketball, so there's that. Has nothing to do with culture, though. I just find soccer to be incredibly boring to watch. I feel the same way about golf, as well.

I played soccer for 6 years growing up. It's fun to play, not as much to watch. Same with golf, except for the final day of the major tournaments. But to declare it as unpatriotic is ignorant and short-sighted.

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