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The "oh No! We Suck Again" Mock Draft


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I like worst case scenarios. Always have. Get the worst case scenario in your head, let it sink in and settle, prepare for it...if it happens, you're ready. If it doesn't, then you're pleasantly surprised. No bad outcome either way.

So here's my worst case:

1- Clowney to HOU

2- Robinson to STL

3- Mack to JAX

4- Manziel to CLE

5- Matthews to OAK (They just let Veldheer walk instead of paying him. Maybe this was their play all along. Stupid play, obviously, but it is OAK.)

6- a steaming pile of meh, reaches (Lewan) and non-needs (QB, WR, CB)

Worst part is Watkins is still on the board and although STL wants him, they would be pretty happy with Evans too. So nobody wants to trade for Watkins. So you're stuck at 6. What to do?

Give up on fixing everything for 2014. That's what you do. A 1 year vs a 2 year rebuild all hinges on that 6th pick. So at 6, you go fancy and frilly and I'll explain later why I think this is the smartest play. At 6 you get the replacement for your HOF tight end.

6- Ebron to ATL. I know, I know. Terrible pick. Can he keep Matt Ryan upright? Technically no...but he can in a way. Ebron is your prototype athletic TE. A quick release athletic freak who can get open fast and establish physical position to haul it in on any route. A walking mismatch. Does he block well? Not particularly, but he gets open and catches balls. He outright replaces Tony G on day 1. Keeping your QB upright can be accomplished one of two ways. Have an excellent OL, or an excellent safety valve. Ebron is the best safety valve in this draft. Lewan...he's the third best OT and the guy I get later will be better than he will in 2015.

Round 2- Attaochu. Everybody that destroyed furniture after hearing Ebron's name is now simultaneously happy about the draft and somewhat remorseful about that coffee table that's now in pieces in the yard. Nothing I can write here that hasn't already been said about the GT product. He's a beast and has zero questions about work ethic or level of competition...you know, the things those other 2 blue-chippers get hit with daily.

Round 3- Tre Mason RB Auburn. What!!??!!! Back out into the yard, stomping what was left of that coffee table into bits so tiny that perhaps they'll help fertilize the lawn after a couple of good rains. This whole draft is the DUMBEST thing ever!!! We need a DE! We need a FS!! A freakin Right Tackle!! What in the ACTUAL #$%@?!!

2 years. Mason is a beast who can supplement and be mentored by Jackson. When SJax hangs em up, Tre Mason comes in and dominates for the next 8 years, just like the man before him did. This offense in 2015 will be unstoppable. 2014...not so much. But the Falcons FO is playing the long game.

Round 4- Billy Turner OT NDSU. The TATF faithful calm down once again as a favorite prospect is selected by the up until now, seemingly incompetent FO. Besides, after discovering the remnants of the coffee table, the wife forced you to go to **** on earth, IKEA, and pick up a temporary replacement. After 4 hours of trying to find your way out of the labyrinth, you simply lack the energy to get angry about anything really, as long as it is in English. If this draft pick happened to have an umlaut somewhere in his name though...yeah, you're gonna break some more ###. So on to Turner: developmental prospect oozing with upside. Talented enough to take snaps in rotation with that mess of 1 year contracts over on the right side of the OL in 2014 and supplant them all as a dominant RT in 2015. Mean, nasty player who doesn't have to answer questions about level of competition because its the 4th round and nobody cares about that sort of nit-picky silliness anymore. Brandon Thomas, OT Clemson, would be a good fit here as well.

Round 4 Comp- Marqueston Huff, FS, Wyoming. Basically a corner who can tackle. Will not get burned by anybody. Willing to play special teams and excels in that area. Certainly capable of being a rotational guy his rookie year and a solid starter in 2015. TD loves those special teamers in the late rounds. Graded out at the combine higher than a lot of guys who will be selected before him. May not last to this spot however, as some view him as a really good corner prospect. Other quality candidates here include: Kenny Ladler Vandy and Ty Zimmerman, Kansas State.

Round 5- Aaron Murray, QB, UGA. Homer pick? Maybe. Simply put though, if Matt Ryan goes down, this team has nothing. Spending a fifth rounder on a backup QB is not only smart, its really freakin smart. Especially if that guy has the upside of Murray. He'll make the roster. That's more than you can say for a lot of 5th round picks.

Round 6- Taylor Hart, DE, Oregon. Huge, smart, coachable, and willing. Not an elite pass rusher, but collapses the pocket and commands attention from offenses which, similarly to Tyson Jackson, frees up other defenders to make plays in opposing teams backfields. Big motor, big heart, big country. You'll want to root for this kid.

Round 7- Max Bullough, ILB, Michigan State. Who was in the middle of the most dominant defense in college football last year making it go? This guy. Want to talk lunchpail? Imagine 3-4 sets with Worrilow and Bullough in the middle. Go on and go there. We have medical personnel on the sidelines. This kid is all heart, smarts, and work ethic. Doesn't get injured and was a team captain. I'll be honest- this may be my favorite pick in this whole mock. This kid is a throwback and I cant think of a better place to have a throwback than at MLB/ILB.

Round 7- J.C. Copeland, FB, LSU. Road grader. Monster truck. Needs to lose weight and wont be much of a factor receiving out of the backfield. Will straight up murder people in the run game though. 3rd and short? Whatever. We have Copeland. Move the chains.

I realize that in all likelihood, this draft means that Atlanta will probably not do so hot next year either. But man...2015. NFC South wont know what hit it.

As always, FLAME AWAY!!

Edited by ocoee_falcon
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Actually, I don't see this as leading to us not being so good....if the DL newcomers play only as good as we expect, run d is better, and so are the LB's. The OG spot could theoretically help both center and RT, assuming the RT is in game shape, so OUR run game could be improved and pass protection slightly improved...couple that with Ebron and healthy J & W, I could see 10-6 or better...I know, IF is a big word...

Edited by dothan_birdman
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I like worst case scenarios. Always have. Get the worst case scenario in your head, let it sink in and settle, prepare for it...if it happens, you're ready. If it doesn't, then you're pleasantly surprised. No bad outcome either way.

So here's my worst case:

1- Clowney to HOU

2- Robinson to STL

3- Mack to JAX

4- Manziel to CLE

5- Matthews to OAK (They just let Veldheer walk instead of paying him. Maybe this was their play all along. Stupid play, obviously, but it is OAK.)

6- a steaming pile of meh, reaches (Lewan) and non-needs (QB, WR, CB)

Worst part is Watkins is still on the board and although STL wants him, they would be pretty happy with Evans too. So nobody wants to trade for Watkins. So you're stuck at 6. What to do?

Give up on fixing everything for 2014. That's what you do. A 1 year vs a 2 year rebuild all hinges on that 6th pick. So at 6, you go fancy and frilly and I'll explain later why I think this is the smartest play. At 6 you get the replacement for your HOF tight end.

6- Ebron to ATL. I know, I know. Terrible pick. Can he keep Matt Ryan upright? Technically no...but he can in a way. Ebron is your prototype athletic TE. A quick release athletic freak who can get open fast and establish physical position to haul it in on any route. A walking mismatch. Does he block well? Not particularly, but he gets open and catches balls. He outright replaces Tony G on day 1. Keeping your QB upright can be accomplished one of two ways. Have an excellent OL, or an excellent safety valve. Ebron is the best safety valve in this draft. Lewan...he's the third best OT and the guy I get later will be better than he will in 2015.

Round 2- Attaochu. Everybody that destroyed furniture after hearing Ebron's name is now simultaneously happy about the draft and somewhat remorseful about that coffee table that's now in pieces in the yard. Nothing I can write here that hasn't already been said about the GT product. He's a beast and has zero questions about work ethic or level of competition...you know, the things those other 2 blue-chippers get hit with daily.

Round 3- Tre Mason RB Auburn. What!!??!!! Back out into the yard, stomping what was left of that coffee table into bits so tiny that perhaps they'll help fertilize the lawn after a couple of good rains. This whole draft is the DUMBEST thing ever!!! We need a DE! We need a FS!! A freakin Right Tackle!! What in the ACTUAL #$%@?!!

2 years. Mason is a beast who can supplement and be mentored by Jackson. When SJax hangs em up, Tre Mason comes in and dominates for the next 8 years, just like the man before him did. This offense in 2015 will be unstoppable. 2014...not so much. But the Falcons FO is playing the long game.

Round 4- Billy Turner OT NDSU. The TATF faithful calm down once again as a favorite prospect is selected by the up until now, seemingly incompetent FO. Besides, after discovering the remnants of the coffee table, the wife forced you to go to **** on earth, IKEA, and pick up a temporary replacement. After 4 hours of trying to find your way out of the labyrinth, you simply lack the energy to get angry about anything really, as long as it is in English. If this draft pick happened to have an umlaut somewhere in his name though...yeah, you're gonna break some more ###. So on to Turner: developmental prospect oozing with upside. Talented enough to take snaps in rotation with that mess of 1 year contracts over on the right side of the OL in 2014 and supplant them all as a dominant RT in 2015. Mean, nasty player who doesn't have to answer questions about level of competition because its the 4th round and nobody cares about that sort of nit-picky silliness anymore. Brandon Thomas, OT Clemson, would be a good fit here as well.

Round 4 Comp- Marqueston Huff, FS, Wyoming. Basically a corner who can tackle. Will not get burned by anybody. Willing to play special teams and excels in that area. Certainly capable of being a rotational guy his rookie year and a solid starter in 2015. TD loves those special teamers in the late rounds. Graded out at the combine higher than a lot of guys who will be selected before him. May not last to this spot however, as some view him as a really good corner prospect. Other quality candidates here include: Kenny Ladler Vandy and Ty Zimmerman, Kansas State.

Round 5- Aaron Murray, QB, UGA. Homer pick? Maybe. Simply put though, if Matt Ryan goes down, this team has nothing. Spending a fifth rounder on a backup QB is not only smart, its really freakin smart. Especially if that guy has the upside of Murray. He'll make the roster. That's more than you can say for a lot of 5th round picks.

Round 6- Taylor Hart, DE, Oregon. Huge, smart, coachable, and willing. Not an elite pass rusher, but collapses the pocket and commands attention from offenses which, similarly to Tyson Jackson, frees up other defenders to make plays in opposing teams backfields. Big motor, big heart, big country. You'll want to root for this kid.

Round 7- Max Bullough, ILB, Michigan State. Who was in the middle of the most dominant defense in college football last year making it go? This guy. Want to talk lunchpail? Imagine 3-4 sets with Worrilow and Bullough in the middle. Go on and go there. We have medical personnel on the sidelines. This kid is all heart, smarts, and work ethic. Doesn't get injured and was a team captain. I'll be honest- this may be my favorite pick in this whole mock. This kid is a throwback and I cant think of a better place to have a throwback than at MLB/ILB.

Round 7- J.C. Copeland, FB, LSU. Road grader. Monster truck. Needs to lose weight and wont be much of a factor receiving out of the backfield. Will straight up murder people in the run game though. 3rd and short? Whatever. We have Copeland. Move the chains.

I realize that in all likelihood, this draft means that Atlanta will probably not do so hot next year either. But man...2015. NFC South wont know what hit it.

As always, FLAME AWAY!!

In that position, we will take Lewan.

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I enjoyed reading you make your pitch for your picks. While reading it I got a warm fuzzy feeling realizing that this is a good enough draft that even if TD & Co. make some pretty radical/strange/weak moves, we should still end up with significant upgrades to the team at DE, FS, TE, OL and RB. As I've said before, it's going to be hard for us to screw this up.

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