Jump to content

Emmitt's Week 1 Prognastyficationism


Recommended Posts

What it is! What it is! It me, Emmitt Smith. I back with my week prognastifications.

It been a few season since I last did this, but I try to come up with some guesstifications during this here season of the National Football League Conferences, but I am busy working on my dance moves.

Befores I get to this game, I would like to point out that the refereeing in this years preseason has been shameful and a travisshammockery, so to speak. The last time I saw some judgements this bad, I was a freshman, freshmen, sophomore during my years at the University of Florida. Go Gator!

In this week feature match up, we gots the 0 and 0 Atlanta Falcons vs the Oh and Oh kc chiefs. I know on manurscripts, so to speak, this look like blow up, but let me reminds you that this is in Pointy Head Stadium. They have good fan there and support there team better than a 5 dollar cross your heart.

Let me break it off for you.

Falcon Defence vs chefs offense:

The haunted chef offense lead by QB Brodie Adoyle, former limo driver from Die Hard 1. Yeah he was playing some cool tunes and playing with a teddy bear while he was hiding when the real **** waa goin down in the Nakatomi building, but don’t be haten cause he did ram that ambulance when the time came to step up to the proverbial plates, so to speak.

I going to be honest here. I don’t know jack **** about the chef offence cause lets face it. They the chef and they don’t play on my tv. If they did I would turn the channels.

In all seriousness and subconchousness, I look for the Falcon to show the world what the Falcon defence can do. I had grown tired of watching them play softer than Oprah’s cellutete. I want to see what Weatherspoon can do to a man. He play with bad intentions and I wouldn’t want those intentsion directed on me. Also look for the Asanti Samuel to get his hands on more balls than to two clowns that hang out with those white tigers in Vagas.

Advantagous: Falcons

Falcon Offence vs chefs defence:

I see where one of the chefs best player suspended from the game. That too bad for them, but it will save him from be embarrassed on tv all across that land. Falcon offense no joke. They flat out gonna put it one someone this year. They got Quizno’s servin slices of salami to every opposing defender coming up for the tackle. They got Julio, of Sanford and Son fame, slicing and dicing the secondary. Plus he got those bad *** tassels hanging from the rooftop of his car. That bad ***!!!! The you throw in Roddy White, Turner and a newly steroided Matt Ryan (5 whole pounds of mass he added during the off seasons), and don’t forget about former porn star Harry Douglas. This going to be good. This going to be bad for the chefs.

Game Summary:

Turner: 12 carries for 102 yards, 1 td, 3 cup of poweraid

Quizno:10 carries for 43 yard, 3 rec, 1 td, 2 cup of poweraid

Judge Snells: 3 carries 12 yards, 3 cup of poweraid

Ryan: 34 of 43, 324 yards, 2 td, 0 ints, 12 yard rushing, 3 cup of poweraide

White: 8 catches, 78 yards, 1 tds, 73 cup of poweraid

Jones: 7 catches, 124 yards, 2 tds, 14 cup of poweraid

Gonzo: 5 catches, 54 yards, 1 td, no poweraid for Tony, but 12 cup of HO2 or water for you non edumacated *************!!!!

Final Score: Falcons 28, chefs 13

Fans don’t forget Harry Douglas will be at the Sugar Hill Kroger signing autographs of his cult classic ‘Shaving Private Ryan’

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 80
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Top Posters In This Topic

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Create New...