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Just How Bad Is Sam Baker Anyway?


PokerSteve
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This is a late-night talk-show top ten. I put it together as a response to the thread which said maybe all the criticism would help build a fire under Sam Baker and he would be inspired to play better. So my thought was, if a little flaming will help, I'm more than ready to do my part, so without further fanfare, here goes nuttin:

How Bad is Sam Baker? Our Top 10....

10. Sam Baker is so bad, he was once penalized 15 yards for impersonating a blow-up rubber lawn clown.

9. Sam Baker is so bad, the NFL licensing board pays him not to wear official NFL gear away from the stadium.

8. Sam Baker is so bad, he gets a basket of fruit and a thank you card signed by the opposing defense after each game.

7. Sam Baker is so bad, he was turned down as an airport security guard because he hardly lays a hand on anybody.

6. Sam Baker is so bad, in the future turn-styles will be known as Baker-styles.

5. Sam Baker is so bad, all Falcon offensive play calls now begin with an emergency roll-out to the right.

4. Sam Baker is so bad, the Georgia Wildlife Foundation has placed him on the endangered species list.

3. Sam Baker is so bad, he should be allowed to tase the defensive lineman before the snap.

2. Sam Baker is so bad, Matt Ryan's wife just doubled the amount of insurance she has on him

and lastly....(drum roll)...

1. Sam Baker is so bad, his back-up is on 24-hour suicide watch because he has to live with being worse.

Note to Sam Baker: I'm kidding big, guy, really. Now go out there and rip somebody's head off.

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I'll play along with the Sam Baker fun.

10. Sam Baker is so bad, the Falcons come out of the tunnel and run through him.

9. Sam Baker is so bad, he got pushed out of line at an icecream truck.

8. Sam Baker is so bad, he spent all night outside a hotel with a revolving door.

7. Sam Baker is so bad, drugs said no to him.

6. Sam Baker is so bad, he tried to push his luck. And couldn't.

5. Sam Baker is so bad, he pushes people around on TATF and goes by the username "Big A."

4. Sam Baker is so bad, he has to walk backwards to mow his lawn.

3. Sam Baker is so bad, his relatives also wear a fake beard to the game.

2. Sam Baker is so bad, the name on his locker is held there with velcro.

..and the number one:

1. Sam Baker is so bad, the Buccaneers think they might have a chance to win.

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