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Was Nicolas Cage A Vampire During The Civil War?


RHEC
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Are you an unhinged billionaire? Are you a sucker for impulse buys? Do you sit around wondering if the fellow née Nicolas Kim Coppola is an immortal Confederate soldier who feasts on human blood? Then have I got an eBay purchase for you, pilgrim!

Behold this recent auction titled "Nicolas Cage is a Vampire / Photo from 1870 / Tennessee":

Original c.1870 carte de visite showing a man who looks exactly like Nick Cage. Personally, I believe it's him and that he is some sort of walking undead / vampire, et cetera, who quickens / reinvents himself once every 75 years or so. 150 years from now, he might be a politician, the leader of a cult, or a talk show host.

This is not a trick photo of any kind and has not been manipulated in Photoshop or any other graphics program. It's an original photo of a man who lived in Bristol, TN sometime around the Civil War.

I've had a lot of questions asking where I purchased this. As followers of my website know, I collect antique memorial photography - images of dead people - from the 1800s. This photo was found in the very back of album that contained an unusual number of Civil War era death portraits (which is why I purchased it). All of the other people in the album, living and dead, were identified by name - this man was not.

Photographer is Professor G.B. Smith. A contact of mine forwarded this interesting article (link) about the photographer, Smith. Turns out he was a confederate Civil War prisoner of war photographer.

Guaranteed to be an original 1860s-70s photograph and not a modern reproduction, copy or photo manipulation.

Cage has dabbled in vampirism before and he is a man to speak in phantasmagoric riddles, so Nosferatuness isn't a total improbability. I bet this is the linchpin to the mystery of that naked man with the Fudgsicle.

Click here

Edited by Skar
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I love the Q and A section on the ebay page:

"Q: Do I get a discount if I AM Nicolas Cage??

A. Of course. You get a 25% discount for being Nicolas Cage, and another 25% for not exsanguinating me.

Q: Vampires can't be photographed. Which means neither this man in a photo or an actor in a photoplay/movie could be a vampire. Whatcha say to that?

A: If vampires can't be photographed, how do you explain this? http://bit.ly/nuNHcd

Q: Nick Cage has aged terribly in the past 10 years, he's obviously not been drinking his daily amount of blood to stay young

A: My theory is that he allows himself to age to a certain point, maybe 70, 80 or so, then the actor "Nicolas Cage" will "die"... but in reality, the undead vampire "Nicolas Cage" will have rejuvenated himself and appeared in some other part of the world, young again, and ready to start all over. From time to time somebody might mention to him that he bears a slight resemblance to the young version that dead American actor, whose name they can't recall, but eventually, those occurrences will stop altogether."

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I love the Q and A section on the ebay page:

"Q: Do I get a discount if I AM Nicolas Cage??

A. Of course. You get a 25% discount for being Nicolas Cage, and another 25% for not exsanguinating me.

Q: Vampires can't be photographed. Which means neither this man in a photo or an actor in a photoplay/movie could be a vampire. Whatcha say to that?

A: If vampires can't be photographed, how do you explain this? http://bit.ly/nuNHcd

Q: Nick Cage has aged terribly in the past 10 years, he's obviously not been drinking his daily amount of blood to stay young

A: My theory is that he allows himself to age to a certain point, maybe 70, 80 or so, then the actor "Nicolas Cage" will "die"... but in reality, the undead vampire "Nicolas Cage" will have rejuvenated himself and appeared in some other part of the world, young again, and ready to start all over. From time to time somebody might mention to him that he bears a slight resemblance to the young version that dead American actor, whose name they can't recall, but eventually, those occurrences will stop altogether."

He has a very good point there. If Vampires can't be photographed then Twilight couldn't be true. This photo is definitely real.

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