The Onion NFL Preview

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Pittsburgh Steelers

Strength: Coach Mike Tomlin's inability to figure out if the Steelers are a running team or a passing team keeps opposing defenses on their toes

Weakness: Roethlisberger has lost considerable respect in his own locker room and throughout the league because he was not convicted of a crime

Intangibles: Commitment to defense forces opposing teams to respect the Steel Curtain until they realize at halftime that it's overrated and they should probably be exploiting a secondary that is actually pretty terrible

Biggest Question: Is this finally the year Dan Rooney dies?

Atlanta Falcons

Strength: It's been more than a year since Matt Ryan appeared in a Gillette commercial, so the Gillette commercial curse should have run its course; Black is still a very intimidating color

Weakness: Have all the makings of a team that stays just competitive enough to keep their fans clinging to hope through a 7-9 season

Player To Watch: Everyone respects a player toughing through injury, but it remains to be seen how Michael Turner expects to produce without his surgically removed left foot

Biggest Question: Can the Braves' return to relevance in baseball keep people distracted as the Falcons start 0-3?

The Steeler's comments were kinda funny.

[Hatch]

Don't take it serious, its onion news.

[Eight Track]

Don't take it serious, its onion news.

I agree. Th colts have a funny write up:

Strength: Peyton Manning

Weakness: Standout back Joseph Addai, dangerous receiver Reggie Wayne, and brilliant defensive end Dwight Freeney are not Peyton Manning

Player To Watch: Safety Bob Sanders until he gets injured in week four, then Peyton Manning

Biggest Question: Why is this consistently excellent team so unbelievably boring to watch?