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"Mark" from Atlanta and AL Sharpton

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People in charge of message board schooling,

As many of you know I have written many an angry missive to various and sundry publications varying from "Horseeaters quarterly" to "PT Cruiser mods for the A holes that drive them". Who can forget my F bomb laden scribe to my 80 year old neighbor whose cat defecated at the base of my Rose of Sharon? My yard has been feline free from the months passed .

I must say I was perplexed, perturbed, prewashed and a bit petulant when I discovered someone posting by the name of Doug Carlton in an obvious, clear, Lucid. pronounced plain and public attempt to besirch, belittle and besmudge my good name, title, epithet,handle, and tag.

I shall not sit idley by the fire while my pantaloons burn, gentlemen! The very flywheel of justice is being descended on by.. something that could really mess up a flywheel, like a hardened object that whereby insertion into said flywheel could not only restrict the flywheels freedom to turn but actually do irrepairable damage to the sensitive parts of mechanisms !!! Did the blood of my grandfather cutting his hand on a cookie jar simple seep into the sands of apathy!!!!?

Or did it water the acorn that became the mighty oak of angry missives? I say NAY!!! No, wait, Yay! That is what I say!

As God is my notary and the two nice ladies in the hallway were witnesses, having seen my proper ID and my signature scribed with mine own hand, I will not allow my name to be used as a shuttlecock in some careless and communist badminton game!!

My Nom De Plume shall not be the caller ID of plebians!

Author Dougg Carton.

Oh, wait... it's CarLton? Doug CarLton....with an L? And one G? not Dougg Carton?


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I have become bewildered and bemused by this blustering display of boisterous, benign, balderdash.

I've vied vigirously in this volley of vocabulary, but I must vamoose myself from this vapid game of verbosity, lest I become vexed by my vulnerability to vagrantly ramble to myself like a vacant vagabond!

My brain hurts now.

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