HerFavoriteColo(u)r. Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 Usain Bolt FactsWhen Usain Bolt starts from the blocks, he doesn’t push himself forward. He pushes the Earth backwardUsain Bolt never false starts. Sometimes the starter is so amazed by Bolt’s start, he forgets to pull the trigger in time.Usain Bolt has two paces: World Record and Celebrate.Pluto is actually a collection of spikes which were insufficiently tightly laced and kicked into space by Usain Bolt.Usain Bolt doesn’t use performance enhancing drugs because steroids would slow him down.Usain Bolt isn’t too tall to be a sprinter. His presence makes other sprinters shorter.When Usain Bolt falls in the steeplechase pit, he doesn’t get wet. The water gets Usain Bolt.Usain Bolt’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.When Usain Bolt was denied chicken nuggets at a McDonalds, he ran through the restaurant so quickly it became a Wendy’s.If Usain Bolt could be contained by a treadmill, his 200m would produce enough energy to power the entire nation of Jamaica for 22 years.The Chinese built the Great Wall to keep out Usain Bolt. Obviously, it did not work.George Bush asked Usain Bolt not to run the 400m because of the potential damage to the U.S. GDP.Usain Bolt has to train on a different track every week due to spike erosion in the lanes.Usain Bolt can watch an entire season of 24, with commercials, in 22 hours.Usain Bolt can slam a revolving door.Usain Bolt is the only person who can text-message a sub-20 200m.If at first you don’t succeed, you’re not Usain Bolt.Usain Bolt tried swimming, but no lane lines exist that can damp the turbulence of his kick.Usain Bolt could have won a medal in archery, but all of his arrows were sub-10.Usain Bolt’s races aren’t timed. HE decides when the clock should stop.There are two types of people in the world: slow people, and Usain Bolt.Usain Bolt feeds Schroedinger’s Cat on his back porch. Without opening the box.Usain Bolt isn’t on the internet. He can’t find a connection fast enough.Usain Bolt’s times in thousandths always round down.There are no unbreakable World Records, just times Usain Bolt hasn’t decided to run yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AF89 Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 Bolts wife must be a very unsatisfied woman. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Summerbunny Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 Bolts wife must be a very unsatisfied woman. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eplayerj Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 Freak Usain bolt. I am talking about Veronica Cambell-Brown with that mega AZZ!!!! :P I like to inspect that to find all of the pimple on it. :P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gritzblitz 2.0 Posted August 22, 2008 Share Posted August 22, 2008 If Bolt and Chuck Norris ever raced, Chuck would run all the way around the world and punch Bolt in the back of the head. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ne0ven0m Posted August 23, 2008 Share Posted August 23, 2008 Good stuff, even if some of them are obvious rip offs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remarkable Posted August 23, 2008 Share Posted August 23, 2008 Replace Chuck Norris with Usain Bolt. Creative. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prolikewhoa Posted August 24, 2008 Share Posted August 24, 2008 Usain Bolt slo-mo replay Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.