Headshot

Who is more retarded than me?

204 posts in this topic

In a juvenile and immature attempt to notify one of my friends that I was in the process of trying to have sexual intercourse with a girl I just met and that I quote "Would probably have the ****** on lockdown by Saturday" I accidentally sent it to said ****** bearer.

Suicide plz.

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LMAO dawg you take the cake. why would you say that in the 1st place??

but i cant hate on you, because id say the same thing to my friend.

ive send a message about someone to that person, but nothing that stupid.

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Consider ****** privileges revoked, unless you are a really good BSer and tell her a jealous friend stole your phone and sent that text and not you.

Suge Nips likes this

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Mathis81WR (4/16/2008)
Consider ****** privileges revoked, unless you are a really good BSer and tell her a jealous friend stole your phone and sent that text and not you.

Now we are resorting to lying to this poor girl? Come on guys, hasn't she been through enough already?

J/K!!:P

Headshot, you may just have to set your sights on a new girl if you can't gt this one to comply.

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WARNING: IF you come back here in a couple of days claiming you sweet talked her and got the goods, bring pics or we're calling BS :P

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I just realized that I didn't mention that this was a text message.

I had just got off the phone with her, and I guess I subconsciously scrolled to her name and began typing. When I hit send and I saw it was going to her I smashed that #####ing END button like no one's business in a feeble attempt to somehow cancel it.

Then I just sat there hopelessly, watching my dream of a naked Saturday evaporating. Then I cried, and made myself a sandwich.

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JDaveG (4/16/2008)
WARNING: IF you come back here in a couple of days claiming you sweet talked her and got the goods, bring pics or we're calling BS :P
AMEN

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That sucks, man...

If it makes you feel any better, I once called the cops on myself to get myself a DUI.

True story.

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Heådshø (4/16/2008)
I just realized that I didn't mention that this was a text message.

I had just got off the phone with her, and I guess I subconsciously scrolled to her name and began typing. When I hit send and I saw it was going to her I smashed that #####ing END button like no one's business in a feeble attempt to somehow cancel it.

Then I just sat there hopelessly, watching my dream of a naked Saturday evaporating. Then I cried, and made myself a sandwich.

You actually made me LOL right there. Now, would you care to post a picture of said girl or provide a description?

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I'm pretty damned creative at coming up with excuses.

That being said...........

I got nothing.

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WTA (4/16/2008)
That sucks, man...

If it makes you feel any better, I once called the cops on myself to get myself a DUI.

True story.

LOL why the ##### would you do that? That might be more ******** than me. Atleast mine didn't end up in a criminal offense.

That reminds me of a time when I was 16 years old, and I was s###hammered. We had been drinking and smoking all night long and I'm scrolling through my phone to find my friend Brad who for whatever reason everyone just called Homie, and he was listed in my phone as such. Unfortunately, so was 'Home.'

So, when my dad picks up the phone at 1 o'clock in the morning and hears me saying "Dude where the ##### are you you c###sucker you went to get beer like an hour ago, by the time you get back the weed is going to be gone" suffice to say he was none to pleased. When I got home the next day he actually pulled me out of the truck and hit me so hard up against the side of my head that my knees gave out and I crumbled to the ground.

Good times.

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Heådshø (4/16/2008)
WTA (4/16/2008)
That sucks, man...

If it makes you feel any better, I once called the cops on myself to get myself a DUI.

True story.

LOL why the ##### would you do that? That might be more ******** than me. Atleast mine didn't end up in a criminal offense.

That reminds me of a time when I was 16 years old, and I was s###hammered. We had been drinking and smoking all night long and I'm scrolling through my phone to find my friend Brad who for whatever reason everyone just called Homie, and he was listed in my phone as such. Unfortunately, so was 'Home.'

So, when my dad picks up the phone at 1 o'clock in the morning and hears me saying "Dude where the ##### are you you c###sucker you went to get beer like an hour ago, by the time you get back the weed is going to be gone" suffice to say he was none to pleased. When I got home the next day he actually pulled me out of the truck and hit me so hard up against the side of my head that my knees gave out and I crumbled to the ground.

Good times.

##### thats probably what my parents would do if i even smoked weed, and they caught me.

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This didn't happen to me, but it happened to a family member of one fo my friends.

This fellow got so high prior to entering a K-Mart that by the time he wanted to leave he became confused and scared because he couldn't find the front doors. So he picked up one of the phones at a cash register somewhere in the store and managed to dial out to 911/the police and begged someone to help him. They came and arrested him.

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dan9124 (4/16/2008)
ah, Florida fans...:hehe:

I was thinking it but you said it.:hehe::hehe::w00t::w00t:

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GEORGIAfan (4/16/2008)
Heådshø (4/16/2008)
WTA (4/16/2008)
That sucks, man...

If it makes you feel any better, I once called the cops on myself to get myself a DUI.

True story.

LOL why the ##### would you do that? That might be more ******** than me. Atleast mine didn't end up in a criminal offense.

That reminds me of a time when I was 16 years old, and I was s###hammered. We had been drinking and smoking all night long and I'm scrolling through my phone to find my friend Brad who for whatever reason everyone just called Homie, and he was listed in my phone as such. Unfortunately, so was 'Home.'

So, when my dad picks up the phone at 1 o'clock in the morning and hears me saying "Dude where the ##### are you you c###sucker you went to get beer like an hour ago, by the time you get back the weed is going to be gone" suffice to say he was none to pleased. When I got home the next day he actually pulled me out of the truck and hit me so hard up against the side of my head that my knees gave out and I crumbled to the ground.

Good times.

##### thats probably what my parents would do if i even smoked weed, and they caught me.

**** my dad beat my brother with a hose for being arrested.

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Heådshø (4/16/2008)

LOL why the ##### would you do that? That might be more ******** than me. Atleast mine didn't end up in a criminal offense.

That reminds me of a time when I was 16 years old, and I was s###hammered. We had been drinking and smoking all night long and I'm scrolling through my phone to find my friend Brad who for whatever reason everyone just called Homie, and he was listed in my phone as such. Unfortunately, so was 'Home.'

So, when my dad picks up the phone at 1 o'clock in the morning and hears me saying "Dude where the ##### are you you c###sucker you went to get beer like an hour ago, by the time you get back the weed is going to be gone" suffice to say he was none to pleased. When I got home the next day he actually pulled me out of the truck and hit me so hard up against the side of my head that my knees gave out and I crumbled to the ground.

Good times.

That's great... :laugh:

What happened to me was that on a late-night run to Krystal's that I had made time and time again, I happened to run off the road on a 90 degree turn on the way back to my fraternity house... Scuffed up the side of my car pretty badly on a fence, so my drunk ##### calls my dad and asks him what I should do... His idea of calling the police to file an insurance report seemed like the best option at the time...

They showed up while I was standing out in the parking lot eating my chili cheese fries, and the next thing I know I'm in handcuffs... :hehe:

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Heådshø (4/16/2008)
You actually made me LOL right there. Now, would you care to post a picture of said girl or provide a description?

I don't have pictures, but even if I did I wouldn't go posting them on the internet. But as far as description goes- She's a palates freak, so she has a really slim figure, but not anorexic skinny or anything like that. Brunette, green eyes, kinda lacking in the trunk and chesticle area, but she's a small girl, ain't ##### she can do about it really. She makes up for it with a killer set of legs and gorgeous face though, beautiful smile and eyes that have the power to hypnotize.

##### that was gay.

All in all she's a solid 8.

UPDATE: As I was typing this, I received a text message simply saying "No you won't"

I'm gonna go stick my **** in an electrical outlet now, catch you cats later.

Never tried that before....

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BillyWitchDoctor (4/16/2008)
Heådshø (4/16/2008)
You actually made me LOL right there. Now, would you care to post a picture of said girl or provide a description?

I don't have pictures, but even if I did I wouldn't go posting them on the internet. But as far as description goes- She's a palates freak, so she has a really slim figure, but not anorexic skinny or anything like that. Brunette, green eyes, kinda lacking in the trunk and chesticle area, but she's a small girl, ain't ##### she can do about it really. She makes up for it with a killer set of legs and gorgeous face though, beautiful smile and eyes that have the power to hypnotize.

##### that was gay.

All in all she's a solid 8.

UPDATE: As I was typing this, I received a text message simply saying "No you won't"

I'm gonna go stick my **** in an electrical outlet now, catch you cats later.

Never tried that before....

It doesn't fit unless you're a beetle, but if you pee you'll get the desired effect, which for me is death.

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