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My dad's funeral should have been on Jerry Springer


Rev_Hal
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Well, the best thing I can say about my dad's funeral is that it is over, and all of the out of town siblings have left. It was a mess.

My dad had 3 wives during his life, and kids with the first two and step children with the third. I was the youngest kid from the 2nd marraige. For the purpose of this story, all of the kids and step kids from the marraiges will be called "siblings". (after this week, I'd love to call some of them "defendant"). For years, most of the siblings have been jockeying for postion with Dad. If you have ever seen the movie "Greed", then you know my family, except they are all poor and fighting over virtually nothing. Since my sister and I (from the 2nd marraige) spent the least amount of time with Dad in recent years, the other siblings thought we did not have the right to attend the funeral, much less get any of his estate. (For the record, I am asking that anything left to me get distributed to the greedy others).

First off, before the service, they wanted all of the family to meet together in a room so we could all enter and leave together (standard funeral procedure). The tension in that room was unbelievable - If looks could kill, I would have been  cremated alongside Dad. When the pastor told the family that  we would be taking the first 3 rows and entering in order, an actual argument broke out amongst the siblings on which order we could go in, to the point that profanity broke out. I was so proud of my kids, because we all sat there quietly in amazement.

The service was very nice, and the pastor had asked us all for stoies about our father during the week to use in the service. I found out after the funeral that one sibling told the pastor to take out any story that came from me. Why, other than blind hatred, I don't know why. Needless to say, everyone was discussed in the service except for me.

At the end of the evening, my step-mom wanted to let everyone take some flowers from the service. She picked out a vase of flowers and gave it to my teenage daughter. Immediately, one of the siblings came over to my daughter and yanked the vase out of her hand, saying that my family did not deserve any of the flowers. My step mom corrected this sibling and gave the flowers back to my daughter, which only made the sibling madder.

Finally, there was a dinner for the entire family after the service. Conveniently, my sister and I (both from marraige #2) were "accidentally" not invited. My step mom asked the table why were not there, and the answers were along the lines of "they must not have cared enough to show up", or "they don't love us". When my step mom called from the dinner to chew me out and she found out the siblings did not invite us, she broke down into major tears. I felt horrible, but we have done nothing but try to pay our respects to my dad.

I just glad this event is over, and I can FINALLY start to mourn the loss of my dad. The rest of those people could be on any upcoming episode of Springer, so keep your eyes open.

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Long ago when my Granddad died I saw the same thing. He had had an affair and had a child from that affair. Naturally this man came to his funeral. now in his fifties. His natural children, except for my mom who loves him dearly just started holes through him.fifty some years later they hated this man!

I was like ****, how is it in ANY way his fault that grandaddy cheated on grandma and had a kid? It was still his daddy in the casket and he had just as much right to say goodbye.

People are petty ,stupid, ignorant and hateful.

Sorry for your experience.

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i hear you rev and my condolences. when my dad passed 4 years ago it was pretty much the same. his sister and her family on one side and my mother and us on the other. it was horrible, to think that not even for his funeral could they show respect. i ended up driving my own car during the procession just to get away from it all. the only nice thing about the ceremony was during the ride all the cops saluted the casket as we drove by (my father was in the air force back during nam). other than that the whole thing was a disaster, the two sides of the family hardly speaking and all.

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grendel (4/12/2008)
This sounds like my wife's grandfather's funeral about 9 years ago. The good news is that, in 3 or 4 years, this will turn into a humorous memory and story you can tell.

I hope so. :)

While I wish this experience on no one in the world, it is somewhat comforting to hear that other people live through messed up funerals as well. Sounds like we have the making of a good reality show!:hehe:

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rev_hal (4/11/2008)
Well, the best thing I can say about my dad's funeral is that it is over, and all of the out of town siblings have left. It was a mess.

My dad had 3 wives during his life, and kids with the first two and step children with the third. I was the youngest kidfrom the 2nd marraige. For the purpose of this story, all of the kids and step kids from the marraiges will be called "siblings". (after this week, I'd love to call some of them "defendant"). For years, most of the siblings have been jockeying for postion with Dad. If you have ever seen the movie "Greed", then you know my family, except they are all poor and fighting over virtually nothing. Since my sister and I (from the 2nd marraige) spent the least amount of time with Dad in recent years, the other siblings thought we did not have the right to attend the funeral, much less get any of his estate. (For the record, I am asking that anything left to me get distributed to the greedy others).

First off, before the service, they wanted all of the family to meet together in a room so we could all enter and leave together (standard funeral procedure). The tension in that room was unbelievable - If looks could kill, I would have been cremated alongside Dad. When the pastor told the family that we would be taking the first 3 rows and entering in order, an actual argument broke out amongst the siblings on which order we could go in, to the point that profanity broke out. I was so proud of my kids, because we all sat there quietly in amazement.

The service was very nice, and the pastor had asked us all for stoies about our father during the week to use in the service. I found out after the funeral that one sibling told the pastor to take out any story that came from me. Why, other than blind hatred, I don't know why. Needless to say, everyone was discussed in the service except for me.

At the end of the evening, my step-mom wanted to let everyone take some flowers from the service. She picked out a vase of flowers and gave it to my teenage daughter. Immediately, one of the siblings came over to my daughter and yanked the vase out of her hand, saying that my family did not deserve any of the flowers. My step mom corrected this sibling and gave the flowers back to my daughter, which only made the sibling madder.

Finally, there was a dinner for the entire family after the service. Conveniently, my sister and I (both from marraige #2) were "accidentally" not invited. My step mom asked the table why were not there, and the answers were along the lines of "they must not have cared enough to show up", or "they don't love us". When my step mom called from the dinner to chew me out and she found out the siblings did not invite us, she broke down into major tears. I felt horrible, but we have done nothing but try to pay our respects to my dad.

I just glad this event is over, and I can FINALLY start to mourn the loss of my dad. The rest of those people could be on any upcoming episode of Springer, so keep your eyes open.

It's bad enough that you have to deal with the loss of your father, then you had to deal with all the hate and chaos within your family. I'm sorry that they couldn't put their differences aside and celebrate your fathers life. Well, hope for the best and may God bless and keep you and your family.
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