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Online Dating

Fat Matt

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  • 1 year later...

Met my girlfriend of 5 years online. It really helps if you don't like the awkwardness of trying to pick someone up who's was not looking to get picked up. When you meet people online you know that they're looking also. But yes, of course, be careful you don't get fooled. Here's my way of judging what a girl looks like before she shows you multiple pictures.

If she says she's skinny, she's thin.

If she says she's thin, she's average.

If she says she's average, she's got some meat on her bones.

If she says she's got meat on her bones, she's husky.

If she says she's husky, she's fat.

If she says she's fat, she's huge.

If she say she's huge, she's probably the subject of scientific investigation

You see where I'm going with this.

Other tips:

Never trust a girl who uses the phrase "thick in all the right places." That means she's fat in ALL the places. Right or wrong.

If a girl compares herself to anyone famous, she probably looks like a cross between that woman's brother and rottweiler.

When a girl has a high school yearbook picture on her profile, and she's like 28, you know she's gone wayyyyy downhill from there.

If a girl mentions in any manner her kids and her kids' father in the first 30 minutes of the initial conversation, GTFO.

When a girl talks about all the nasty things she wants to do to you, and yall haven't even had a phone conversation yet, she's got an STD. Book it.

Move the conversation from the computer to the phone ASAP, you don't want to get too involved and later find out she sounds like Isaac Hayes.

That's just a few things to help you out. Everyone else, feel free to contribute.

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i've met a few chicks online. the most recent one was a raging alcoholic from fling dot com cool chick when she wasn't sloppy drunk ( which wasnt often) when i finally got her into bed she had a rash on her stomach and lower parts ( WTF!!) eczema was her excuse but that wasn't a good enough excuse for me . i booked asap and avoided her calls for weeks. if that would have been my first experience with online dating i'd NEVER do it again., but theres normal chicks online if you do some research first.

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