olehippy13 Posted November 10, 2007 Share Posted November 10, 2007 i got this from my brother in law who is working up in boston......***********************************************in order to address the complaints and hurt feelings of the rest of the nfl, the commissioner has adopted 10 new special rules for all new england patriots games. they take effect immediately, and are as follows:special rules for the patriots 1) in the course of an nfl game, if the patriots go up by more than 31 points, they are not allowed to play offense until the opposing team draws to within one score. (pats will kick-off after an opposing team's touchdown or fg). a) once the team is within one score, the pats offense may play, but tom brady may not, unless: i) the pats play with 8 players (including tom), or ii) the pats play with 9 players, but 1 player for the patriots is chosen by the opposing team from the stands. no patriots linebacker is allowed to play offense, unless that lb is inserted at quarterback. however, mike vrabel cannot be quarterback.2) if an opposing player states "it's like were playing 7-on-5s" (7 offense, 5 defense during practice), such as indicated by justin smith, de, cincinnati bengels 10/1/07, the patriots must take a time out and serve ice cold lemonade or hot tea (weather dependent) to the opposing team. scones are optional. 3) once the 31 pt rule is in effect, patriots may challenge any play, but the opposing team gets veto power over the referee. 4) once the pats offense is allowed back onto the field (7 pts), for any forward pass the pats qb must point to the receiver and call out his number before passing. if tom brady is quarterbacking at the time, he must do that, plus turn the opposing team's water cooler into wine before passing. 5) belichick must diagram any patriots play to the opposing defense and ensure they understand exactly how to disrupt the play. this all must be done within the play clock. if this process is not complete prior to the play clock expiring, the patriots will be assessed a delay of game and double unsportsmanlike conduct penalties.6) randy moss must play with 10lb ankle weights on each ankle. an additional pound will be added for each td this season. 7) wes welker is not allowed to have "that crazy look" in his eyes. 10 yd, "crazy eyes" penalty assessed. 8) tom brady must immediately stop dating supermodels as he will not be allowed to date anyone that is more attractive then the least attractive significant other of an opposing team member (including coaches). he also must start doing commercials for every product imaginable, especially ones where he chants "cut that meat!" or refers to himself "as a 6'5" quarterback with a laser-rocket arm" 9) bill belichick is not allowed to be within 100 yds of any infant, for fear that his evil supergenius powers would assimilate such a defenseless creature into the patriots system. we have already seen this effect on an inordinate amount of chipmunks, squirrels, and 'possum that commit suicide while crossing rte 1 to reach gillette stadium. 10) patriots must respect all opposing players feelings and apologize for every first down. touchdowns must be followed by a written apology and a fruit basket presented with a hug. **********************************************some year, maybe they'll write things like this about the falcons...................what do you think???olehippy13former vietnam mediclifelong falcon fan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
atl_falcon_89 Posted November 10, 2007 Share Posted November 10, 2007 still wont be fair Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clownorg Posted November 10, 2007 Share Posted November 10, 2007 even using those rules we'd still lose Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nativefalcon Posted November 10, 2007 Share Posted November 10, 2007 even using those rules we'd still losefor real, their the superteam right now, the only thing that will stop them is free agency or injuries. specifically on brady. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
michaelgee Posted November 10, 2007 Share Posted November 10, 2007 when did we get a patriots forum?? isn't there a trashcan that this post can be put into??michaelgee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big Duke 6 Posted November 10, 2007 Share Posted November 10, 2007 patriot act-wire tapping........they cheat,they all cheat.the 49ers paying under the table to get by the salary cap.when you have had as much success as the patriots be start getting arrogant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clownorg Posted November 10, 2007 Share Posted November 10, 2007 when did we get a patriots forum?? isn't there a trashcan that this post can be put into??michaelgee closest thing this forum has to a trash can is the vick forum Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rev2000 Posted November 10, 2007 Share Posted November 10, 2007 when did we get a patriots forum?? isn't there a trashcan that this post can be put into??michaelgee mabe we need to attack the pats forum ........ like they do ours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rev2000 Posted November 10, 2007 Share Posted November 10, 2007 closest thing this forum has to a trash can is the vick forum you got that right good buddy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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