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falcon jokes, i found a new one.


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might as well have some fun with it this year, maybe next year will be different. can you add one to the list?

subject: courtroom drama in atlanta, ga

atlanta domestic court

atlanta, georgia

courtroom drama

a seven-year old boy was at the center of an atlanta fulton county court room drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. the boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.

the boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. when the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him.

after considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. after two court recesses to check legal references and confer with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the atlanta falcon's football team, whom he firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

q: what do you call 47 millionaires around a tv watching the super bowl?

a: the atlanta falcons.

q: what do the atlanta falcons and billy graham have in common?

a: they re the only two forces on earth that can make 70,000 people in the dome stand up and scream jesus!

q: how do you keep an atlanta falcon out of your yard?

a: put up goal posts.

q: where do you go in atlanta in case of a tornado?

a: to the georgia dome - they never get a touchdown there!

q: what do you call an atlanta falcon with a super bowl ring?

a: a thief.

q: why was coach petrino upset when the falcon's play book was stolen?

a: because he hadn't finished coloring it.

q: what's the difference between the atlanta falcons and a dollar bill?

a: you can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

q: what do the atlanta falcons and possums have in common?

a: both play dead at home and get killed on the road.

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i stole this one from harley.

one of jon gruden s boys walks into a bar after a contest with atlanta and the bartender says, "hey, i haven't seen you in a while. what happened, you look terrible!"

"what do you mean?" the buccaneer replies, "i'm fine."

the bartender says, "but what about that wooden leg? you didn't have that before."

"well," says the buccaneer, "we were in a battle with the falcons and john abraham hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and i'm fine, really."

"yeah," says the bartender, "but what about that hook? last time i saw you, you had both hands."

"well," says the buc, "we were in another battle with the falcons and keith brooking got ahold of me, nearly took me whole arm off, but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and i feel great, really."

"oh," says the bartender, "what about that eye patch? last time you were in here you had both eyes."

"well," says the pirate, "during another battle with the falcons, bobby petrino spat in my eye."

"so?" replied the bartender, "what happened? you couldn't have lost an eye just because someone spat in it!"

"well," says the pirate, "i really wasn't used to the hook yet."

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