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Bird-Dawg 59

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Everything posted by Bird-Dawg 59

  1. Bill, Jim and Scott were at a convention together and were sharing a large suite on the top floor of a 75 story hotel. After a long day of meetings, they were shocked to hear that the elevators were broken and they would have to climb the stairs to get to their room. Bill said, "Let's break up the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on other things. I'll tell jokes for the first 25 floors, Jim can sing songs for the second 25 floors and Scott can tell stories for the remaining 25 floors." All of the men readily agreed. At the 26th floor Bill stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing. At the 51st floor, Jim stopped singing and it was now time for Scott to begin telling stories. So, Scott began by saying, " I'll start with telling me saddest story first,"he said. "I left the d@mned hotel room key in the car."
  2. Italy makes immigrants speak Italian for work visa AP By FRANCES D'EMILIO, Associated Press Frances D'emilio, Associated Press – 1 hr 12 mins ago FLORENCE, Italy – Svetlana Cojochru feels insulted. The Moldovan has lived here seven years as a nanny to Italian kids and caregiver to the elderly, but in order to stay she's had to prove her language skills by writing a postcard to an imaginary friend and answering a fictional job ad. "I feel like a guest," said Cojochru. She had just emerged from Beato Angelico middle school where she took a language test to comply with a new law requiring basic Italian proficiency for permanent residency permits following five years of legal residence. Italy is the latest Western European country turning the screws on an expanding immigrant population by demanding language skills in exchange for work permits, or in some cases, citizenship. While enacted last year in the name of integration, these requirements also reflect anxiety that foreigners might dilute fiercely-prized national identity or even, especially in Britain's case, pose terror risks. Some immigrant advocates worry that as harsh economic times make it harder for natives to keep jobs, such measures will become more a vehicle for intolerance than integration. Others say it's only natural that newcomers learn the language of their host nation, seeing it as a condition to ensure they can contribute to society. So far, Italy is only giving a gentle turn to the screw. Cojochru and other test-takers described the exam as easy. No oral skills were tested. In Austria, terms are tougher. There, where native speakers have been sometimes known to scold immigrant parents for not speaking proper German to their children, foreigners from outside the European Union need to prove they speak basic German within five years of receiving their first residency permit. Failure to do so can bring fines and jeopardize their right to stay. The government argues that foreigners who master German can better integrate and help foster understanding across cultures. But, like in Italy, critics say it's a just a pretext for erecting barriers. "The German language is increasingly being used as a marginalization tool," said Alev Korun, a Turkish-born member of the opposition Greens party who immigrated to Austria when she was 19. Austria's Cabinet approved new rules requiring most immigrants to have elementary German skills before they even enter the country. They're part of a plan to create a new "red-white-red card" — the colors of the Austrian flag — for a work permit for qualified non-EU citizens aimed at filling gaps left by an aging work force. The legislation now goes to parliament for consideration. Critics say requiring people to speak basic German before they set foot in Austria would be an unreasonable barrier for people from poor, rural areas who can't afford or access German classes. "I think this is a very clear form of discrimination of certain type of immigrants," said Barbara Liegl, head of the Austrian anti-racism organization ZARA. "I see massive disadvantages for specific groups." Terrorism pushed Britain to start strictly enforcing a requirement for English-language competency for prospective citizens. Three of the 2005 London suicide bombers were native Britons of Pakistani descent while the fourth was born in Jamaica. Since 2005, would-be citizens and permanent residency holders have been asked to prove their command of "Britishness" by answering multiple choice questions, in English, on British history, culture and law, from explaining the meaning behind the fireworks-filled Guy Fawkes Night, to knowing which British courts use a jury system. Britain's government has pledged to dramatically cut immigration, and the language requirement is effectively a tool to put a cap on the number of newcomers, said Sarah Mulley, an immigration expert at the Institute of Public Policy Research, a London think tank. Home Secretary Theresa May, who aims to cut immigration to below 100,000 by 2015, said language tests will help weed out those who don't plan to contribute to British life. She has singled out spouses seeking marriage visas to join English-speaking partners as a particular concern. "There is a concern about long-established communities in the U.K. who are not well integrated, for examples, some of the Pakistani (and) Bangladeshi communities, and that's largely linked to language limitation," Mulley added. But Mohammed Reza, a Pakistani on a student visa who is studying for Britain's citizenship test, saw language as a path to integration. "If I'm wearing traditional clothing on my way to the mosque, everyone on the tube (subway) looks at me funny and gives me wide berth," Reza said. "It's hard to beat the stereotype, but speaking English is probably the most important thing for fitting in. That's why I read as much as I can and try to learn the lingo here." In Italy's case, there has been a much weaker tradition of immigration and no major Islamic terror attacks. Still, a strong spike in newcomers in recent years — along with the very newness of the immigration phenomenon — has fueled a xenophobia surge and boosted the popularity of the anti-immigrant Northern League, Premier Silvio Berlusconi's main coalition partner. In 1990, immigrants numbered some 1.14 million out of Italy's then 56.7 million people, or about 2 percent, according to the state statistics bureau, ISTAT. At the start of this year, foreigners living in Italy amounted to 4.56 million of a total population of 60.6 million, or 7.5 percent, with immigrants' offspring accounting for an ever larger percentage of births in Italy. Amid the trend, Northern League leader Umberto Bossi's influence in government has grown ever stronger, his rhetoric often laced with a racist tinge. Bossi once referred to immigrants as "bingo bongos" and has suggested that migrant smugglers' boats off Italy's shores be fired upon with cannons. Last year, a Northern League lawmaker proposed extending the language requirement to all non-EU citizens who want to open a store or other business in Italy, but the move died in Parliament. Bossi "represents the extreme" in stands on immigration, said Manuele Bacci, 38, one of a fourth generation of butchers running a shop in Florence's cavernous San Lorenzo covered market. The other extreme, he said, is absolutely no restrictions. "We need to take a step toward them and they need to take a step toward us," was Bacci's formula for integration. But many immigrants say they'll be rejected no matter how hard they try to fit in. Cojochru, the Moldovan nanny and caregiver, hoped obtaining permanent residence would help her bring her two teen children to Italy; they live with her sister in Moldova, where wages are among the lowest in Europe. She was skeptical that the language requirement would encourage integration. Italians always "see me as a foreigner," an outsider, despite her years in the country and despite her flawless command of the local language, she said. ___ AP reporters Veronika Oleksyn in Vienna, Tamara Baluja in London, Ciaran Giles in Madrid, and Louise Nordstrom in Stockholm contributed to this report.
  3. Pastor from Houston found dead in North Texas church by Casey Norton / WFAA & khou.com staff khou.com Posted on March 4, 2011 at 12:44 PM ARLINGTON, Texas -- A 28-year-old pastor from Houston was found dead and his 67-year-old ministry assistant critically injured in an Arlington church Thursday afternoon, investigators said. Police found the body of Rev. Clint Dobson after receiving a call at about 4:15 p.m. Thursday. The caller had gone to the church after becoming concerned that no one could be reached. After looking into the window and seeing a motionless body on the floor, the person called the police. Officers also found Dobson’s assistant, Judy Elliott, in the church. They said she was severely beaten. Elliott was transferred to John Peter Smith Hospital in Fort Worth, where she remained in critical condition Friday. Parishioners gathered outside the church Thursday evening comforting one another, including Dobson’s grief-stricken wife. "She was down on her knees in disbelief of what was going on," said Leesa Ilkka, a neighbor of the church. NorthPointe Baptist is a satellite ministry of First Baptist Church of Arlington. "Sweet, gentle, great guy," said Tillie Burgin, who did charity work with Dobson. "He was strong. This church will continue because of his leadership; I believe that." The cause of Dobson’s death has not been determined. Police also say they now believe the motive was robbery after finding items missing from the church and the two victims. NorthPointe Baptist Church has no surveillance video of the crime. Police said the suspect or suspects in the case may have fled the scene in Elliott’s car, which was missing. The vehicle is a four-door, cream-colored 2007 Mitsubishi Galant. The license plate number is DFR-352. Police said anyone who spots the car should alert the authorities and not approach anyone inside the vehicle. Dobson earned a degree in psychology from Baylor in 2004 and graduated from Truett Seminary. He’s originally from the Clear Lake area and was a member and worker at University Baptist church there. Those who knew him are trying to stay strong and comfort his family. "I talked with Clint's mother just this morning, her faith remains strong and her faith is in God, and it’s true, just as Clint's was," said Associate Pastor Rick Carpenter of University Baptist Church. He said Dobson's family have been members of University Baptist for at least 20 years, and that Clint was baptized in that church back in 1991. "Clint became an outstanding young man, a great preacher," said Carpenter. 11 News Reporter Ron Trevino and The Associated Press contributed to this report.
  4. Fired workers burn Indian executive to death AP – Fri Mar 4, 2:37 am ET BHUBANESHWAR, India – Indian police detained two people after an angry mob of fired workers burned to death a senior executive of a steel factory, an official said Friday. After learning they were laid off, about a dozen workers attacked a vehicle carrying Radhey Shyam Roy as he was leaving the factory in eastern Orissa state on Thursday, dousing the Jeep with gasoline and setting it on fire, said police Superintendent Ajay Kumar Sarangi. Two other people in the vehicle were allowed to flee but Roy, 59, was trapped inside and later died of severe burns, Sarangi said. Police were questioning two workers and their formal arrest on murder charges was likely, Sarangi told The Associated Press. The steel factory is in Bolangir district, nearly 250 miles (400 kilometers) west of Bhubaneshwar, the capital of Orissa state. Incidents of industrial violence are common in India, where workers often target executives in cases of wage disputes and job losses. In 2008, scores of dismissed employees of an Italian manufacturing company, Graziano Transmissioni India, used iron rods and wooden sticks to beat to death the company's local chief executive officer on the outskirts of New Delhi.
  5. TWO toothbrushes, huh? The accomplice must have gotten away with the fixins'.
  6. A little old lady sold pretzels on a street corner for a dollar each. Every day a young man would leave his office building at lunch time and as he passed the pretzel stand he would leave her a dollar, but never take a pretzel. This offering went on for more than 3 years. The two of them never spoke. One day as the young man passed the old lady's stand and left his dollar as usual, the pretzel lady spoke to him for the first time in over 3 years. Without blinking an eye she said: "They're a dollar and a quarter now."
  7. Wow....I should have just posted my ridiculous Oregon bus driver in this thread. He would have fit right in.
  8. I messed up, but I ain’t sorry about it,” Brown said. ^^^^^^^^Truth from the mouth of a criminal....Don't hear that everyday.
  9. Terrie Robinson's twin sister, Sherrie Robinson, told WXVT-TV that people should not judge her sister before all the facts are known. "She was a great parent, a good person. We don't know what's wrong. We don't know what happened. Do not sit there and call her a bad mom cause that's not what she is," Sherrie Robinson told the TV station. ^^^^^^^^^^^ Good Lawd have mercy. :blink: :wacko:
  10. Yeah, I think Cappy posted this within the last week. It was hilarious Gotta get myself some thin mints if they are that good.
  11. Ore. bus driver suspended for Confederate flag By JEFF BARNARD, Associated Press Jeff Barnard, Associated Press – Thu Mar 3, 5:45 pm ET GRANTS PASS, Ore. – Ken Webber wears his redneck heart out in the open, for all to see. On his right arm a red, white and blue tattoo depicts his skin ripped open to reveal an American flag and the words "100 percent American." On his left, the tears reveal a Confederate flag and the words "Pure Redneck." So when Webber was told to surrender the Confederate flag that flies from the CB antenna on his pickup truck — or be suspended from his job driving a school bus in Talent — the choice was easy. Webber chose his flag. "My flag will fly," he told The Associated Press on Thursday. "No one here is gonna tell me what I can and can't believe in." Webber, 28, of Medford drives the kindergarten bus for Talent Elementary School. He has been driving for First Student Inc., which contracts buses for the Phoenix-Talent School District, for the past four years. He also attends community college and is married with four young children. Webber got the Confederate battle flag, emblazoned with the word Redneck, as a birthday present in 2009 from his dad, and has been flying it ever since. But last month, school Superintendent Ben Bergreen saw it on Webber's truck parked at the school bus yard in Talent and told Webber's supervisor the flag had to go, or Webber had to go. The school district owns the bus yard and leases it to First Student. "The fact is, our district is about 37 percent minority students," Bergreen said. "It's fairly common knowledge that the Confederate battle flag is perceived by folks as a racist or negative symbol. The Southern Poverty Law Center said more than 500 extremist groups use it as one of their symbols. "We have a policy," he added. "It's about displaying symbols on school property that were racist, or had a potential to be seen as racist might be a better way to say that." First Student spokeswoman Bonnie Bastian confirmed Webber had been suspended, but said she could not discuss details. Webber said he could park the truck off school property, but he would have to walk a mile to his job. He said he is suspended without pay pending an investigation, and he expects to have to sell off some belongings to pay the rent. "I believe in God and know he'll get us through this," he said. Webber has not hired a lawyer but is considering taking his stand to court. Courts have upheld the right of schools to limit display of the Confederate flag on their property. Last November, the Sixth U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals upheld the right of a Tennessee school district to suspend a student for wearing a T-shirt and belt buckle bearing the image of the Confederate battle flag. Born in Riverside, Calif., Webber said his family moved around the country as his father was transferred from Air Force base to Air Force base, until they settled in Southern Oregon when he was 11. He and his friends considered themselves "backyard rednecks" growing up. They hunted, fished, roamed the mountains, and drove ATVs in the mud. He dropped out of high school in Phoenix, Ore., but is working toward a degree in juvenile corrections at Rogue Community College. "I work for what I have. I support my family. It's just who I am. I'm a redneck," Webber said. "It's a way of life." Webber said flying the flag had nothing to do with racism, extremist groups or politics. "When you've got the word 'redneck' going straight across (the flag), it takes away that whole thing," he said. "It's just about standing up for what you believe in. This is one thing I'm doing. It ain't coming down."
  12. A guy goes to the local city office to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?" He replies, "Yes - coffee." "Have you ever been in the military service?" "Yes," he says, "I was in Iraq for two years." The interviewer says,"That will give you 5 extra points towards employment." Then he asks,"Are you disabled in any way?" The guy says,"Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both of my testicles." The interviewer grimaces and then says, "O.K. You've got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 7:00 A.M. to 3:30 P.M. You can start tomorrow from 9:00AM every day." The guy is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 7:00 A.M. to 3:30 P.M., why do you want me to start here from 9:00 A.M.?" "This is a government job," the interviewer says, "For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our b@lls. No point you coming in for that."
  13. Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch in Macon, Georgia drinking tea and enjoying the nice weather. The first old lady turns to the second and asks, 'Do you still get horny?' The second lady replies, 'Oh, sure I do.' The first old lady asks, 'What do you do about it?' The second old lady replies, 'Well, whenever I get those feelings I just suck on a lifesaver until they go away.' After a few moments, the first old lady asks, 'Who drives you to the beach?'
  14. Very funny man.....Just finished watching the standup routine "Himself" a couple of days ago. Hilarious
  15. 2 hurt in fight started at Texas cemetery February 25, 2011 10:46 AM The Associated Press CORPUS CHRISTI — Two people have been hurt in a fight that broke out at a Texas cemetery as mourners gathered to remember a slain girl. Corpus Christi police say one person was stabbed and another was hit in the head with an urn Thursday night. Lt. Daniel Garcia says the injuries are not believed to be life threatening. Police detained several people for questioning. Police are trying to determine what sparked the argument at the burial place of 17-year-old Claryssa Silguero. She was killed in a 2009 drive-by shooting.
  16. Police: Ohio day care gives granddad wrong boy AP – Fri Feb 18, 7:46 am ET CLEVELAND – Cleveland police say a man picking up his 3-year-old grandson from day care was given the wrong child and didn't realize the mistake until he got the boy home. WEWS-TV reports that when that child's mother came to pick up her son, staffers at the Fatima Family Center knew something was wrong. By that time, the grandfather was on his way back with the boy. The day care is operated by Catholic Charities Community Services. Executive Director Bernadette Washington released a statement saying her organization would review its procedures and make sure the staff understands how to release a child to the proper person. Washington also told WJW-TV the two children on Thursday were safe with their right relatives within a half-hour of the mix-up. No charges have been filed.
  17. I can certainly appreciate you feeling that way and I respect that opinion. Can't disagree or argue with it. I just think that the success we have had over the last 3 years has been a little sweeter for me with us being in the NFC South as opposed to if we had been playing in the NFC West against lesser competition. That's just me, though.
  18. Nah, it's just J.B......... Besides, if he wants to compare mancards based upon dog breed or dog names, I'll see what I can do to defend our testicles.
  19. Oh man, don't I know it. I remember it all and then some. (I even added a few) :ph34r: I wonder how many even remember being able to dial a local number without putting in an area code first? (Reminds me, I still have an old rotary dial candlestick phone around here somewhere ) Hey, Biloxi....Please feel free to add to the list.
  20. I would +100 you if I could, Phatty (Sorry, +1 will have to do).
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